Most people, when learning about the law of attraction, have no problem with the initial stage: feeling really excited about their goal. That's pretty easy, right?
But, they run into trouble when it comes to actually completing it. It always seems to be that one illusive step away from fully manifesting.
Well, there's a simple reason for that. Today I hope to show you how to stop sabotaging your manifestations, by understanding what I'll call the lifecycle of a desire.
The Beginning of a Manifestation
Most small manifestations are no problem at all—what I call your current level goals. Even the start of your next level goals are not often too difficult. They might even be pretty easy at first, because you're really excited about this manifestation. Whenever you visualize your goal, you feel excited. And of course, according to most law of attraction material out there, this should mean that it's right around the corner, right?
In actuality, this is just the very beginning of your manifestation. In the book, Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz, he refers to this stage as the germination stage: that stage of the manifestation process that is full of new energy and lots of excitement.
It's great, because its easy to know that you are on track. Just build up that emotional energy as much as possible, and you're on your way.
How You Are Sabotaging Your Manifestations
However, many people run into a roadblock right around this point.
It starts getting harder to feel excited about your desire. And so you try to force it. And you might even worry that perhaps you don't even want this desire anymore.
It starts introducing a lot of stress into the system. Every time you visualize your desire, or journal about it, or say affirmations, you try to turn up the volume on your emotions, but it just feels forced, and fake.
So what do you think the Universe will give you back, when you start feeling forced and fake?
Yep, you got it. More experiences that feel forced and fake.
Egoic Emotions vs. Spiritual Emotions
It seems so counterintuitive, because we know that emotions are the language of the subconscious mind. And yet, our most powerful tool seems to turn against us when we are so close to manifesting our greatest desires.
The thing you need to understand is the difference between spiritual emotions and egoic emotions. I discussed this difference in our recent podcast on emotional guidance.
But essentially, your egoic emotions are those strong, powerful emotions that you associate with pleasurable goals: excitement, joy, happiness, etc. They are visceral, palpable emotions. They are rooted in the body—in the egoic self.
They are great for starting off a major, next level goal. However, they are not enough.
It's the spiritual emotions that really matter. The ego needs to be involved, being inspired by the goal, but it cannot be purely egoic. The higher self also needs to be involved.
The spiritual emotions are far deeper. They are joy, yes, but lasting joy. They are peace, stillness, and calm. It is on the spiritual level that you can trust that things will work out for you.
With just the egoic level, you will burn out too quickly. But once you introduce the spiritual level, you can bring your manifestation to completion.
Allowing Your Desires to Become Ordinary
So the reason you are sabotaging your manifestations is that you aren't allowing that initial, egoic emotion to soften and mature into the deeper, longer lasting spiritual emotion.
This can also be experienced as your desire suddenly feeling ordinary. Where once your desire evoked great excitement and joy from you, it starts to become, just, normal.
This is the point at which many people panic. They crave that big, egoic emotional response, and after a while, they don't get it anymore. They get the deeper, spiritual emotional response, where the desire feels good, it feels right, and so on. But it's not so in-your-face.
The egoic emotions are great for the initial burst of energy. But, then you enter what Robert Fritz calls the assimilation stage.
Transitioning to the Assimilation Stage
Think of an airplane. I know, I'm really hitting these airplane analogies hard lately. 🙂
But, it takes a lot of energy to get off the ground and into the air. It burns more fuel for a plane to take off than it does to simply cruise at altitude. If it kept using the same amount of fuel, it'd be out in no time.
It's the same with your initial egoic emotions. They are great to get your manifestation off the ground. But once you are moving definitively towards your goal, they will just become exhausting.
So, you switch over to another mode: that of the spiritual emotions. It takes less focus and effort to keep things going. Yes, resistance will come up, but you have built a strong foundation for your goal to manifest.
But, the mistake many people make here is to try to burn up those flashier egoic emotions. They feel more exciting, so it seems we need to keep triggering them over and over again. Going back to our airplane analogy, you're never allowing the plane to reach cruising altitude. You're just continuing to ascend, and eventually, you'll stall out.
So, the assimilation stage is the stage during which you come ever closer to fully embodying your goal. You have built the foundation, and now you just need to iron out the bugs. In The Art of Reality Creation, I call this the debugging stage.
This stage doesn't feel as good or exciting as the germination stage discussed above, at least not on the egoic level, but it is still vital. If you don't give yourself that chance to go through this stage, you can never bring your manifestation to completion.
Your Subconscious Mind Makes Frequent Experiences Ordinary
Another reason that your desire begins to feel ordinary is because your subconscious mind is built to make your everyday experiences ordinary. When you fight this natural inclination of your subconscious mind, you are sabotaging your manifestations.
The subconscious mind is essentially an automator. It takes your regular experiences, and makes them feel normal and ordinary.
To a millionaire, the first million is life-changing. The second is still pretty awesome, but not as big of a deal as the first. After many millions have been earned, do you think it feels like such a big deal anymore? Do you think they are just as excited about, say, the tenth million, as they were about the first? No, of course not.
Warren Buffett makes $1.54 million every hour. Yes, every hour of every day, he makes another $1.54 million. Do you think that feels like a big deal? Of course it doesn't!
Like it or not, even the greatest things in life will start to feel ordinary once they become a regular experience. This frees up emotional energy for other goals you might like to pursue. If every single positive experience felt ecstatic, it'd get rather exhausting, rather quickly.
This is the same when you visualize your goal every day. Your subconscious mind is inundated with the imagery of your goal, and so it starts to become used to it.
When Your Desire Becomes Ordinary, It Means You Are Close
This step is actually very desirable, despite the counterintuitive nature of this stage.
Remember that manifesting is all about embodying your goal. Initially, there is a large gap between your current inner state and the vibrational essence of your goal. However, the application of egoic emotion in the beginning will close much of that gap.
In the assimilation stage, you are debugging that manifestation. You are seeing what gap there still is, and closing it more and more.
You see, those egoic emotions are really just a sign of how large that gap really is. When something is unbelievable to you, or at least difficult to believe, you feel even more excited about it.
Once it feels within reach, then it feels more ordinary, since you have closed much of that gap, even if you are not totally there yet.
So, you are sabotaging your manifestations when you don't allow this gap to close, and for the goal to feel more ordinary. You must realize that this is actually a good sign, because it means that you are that much closer to the complete manifestation of your goal.
When you allow your desire to become ordinary to you, you are essentially saying, “This is normal for me. It's believable, and even easy.” Isn't that what you want?
In other words, this next level goal has become a current level goal, or at least is well on its way to doing so.
Do You Have Next-Big-Thing Syndrome?
Part of the reason this is so difficult for some is because they are addicted to that excitement. It's a temporary high that makes them feel good for the moment. However, when the excitement naturally dies down, they need to find another way of manufacturing it—usually by either faking it with their current goal, or pursuing yet another goal to get that sense of excitement back.
This is part of the flaw with many law of attraction teachings focusing so much on trying to feel good all the time just trains you to always expect that egoic sense of excitement and pleasure. When it goes away, you think that something is wrong, and you pursue that next big thing to get it back.
Many are almost afraid of the ordinary. The ordinary almost seems to be bad, or boring at the least. But it doesn't need to be, at all. It just means it is the norm. And the norm feels, well, normal.
You're going to have highs and lows in life, with simple ordinary life in the middle. Your sense of what is ordinary will certainly increase, but it will always feel ordinary.
Maybe right now, your sense of ordinary is making $30,000 a year. In 5 years, your “ordinary” might be making $100,000, or more. But, it will be ordinary, no doubt about it.
Enjoy those moments of ordinary between those “next big things”. When you try to just pursue the “next big thing”, you are constantly pursuing, without ever reaching it. You don't put forth that ordinary-feeling energy to actually achieve the next big thing, and make it not so big to you anymore. That is what is required.
How to Embrace the Ordinary and Stop Sabotaging Your Manifestations
Have you been suffering from next-big-thing syndrome? If so, stop and ask yourself what it is you really want in life, right now, beneath that sense of excitement that you crave.
Look at your life a year from now, or even several years from now. What do you want “ordinary” to look like? Are you making more money? Are you living in a different house? Are you in a new (or different) relationship?
Look beyond the egoic emotions that first arise when you think of this goal, and ask yourself whether this is the kind of life you'd like to lead day-after-day. Are you in it for the goal itself, or just because of the excitement that the goal offers you right now? Can you commit yourself to that goal, even when the energy of that desire matures into the deeper spiritual emotions and it starts to feel normal?
If so, then it is a great goal to pursue. Allow yourself to feel excited right now, if that's what is natural.
But, as you close the gap to that goal, allow yourself to move with the flow of the energy of that desire, as it begins to feel more ordinary, and therefore more possible. See yourself living that goal every day. Your subconscious mind will start taking on those images as its new normal, and you'll quickly find yourself moving towards your goal.
How About You?
Now it's your turn. Have you embraced the ordinariness of your own desires? Or, have you been falling into the trap of the next-big-thing syndrome, and sabotaging your manifestations as a result? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.