One of the most common complaints I hear is that resistance is just too hard to overcome.
I’ve tried my best throughout my various posts to give tips of how to overcome resistance. But, the question remains, what do you do when it is just way too much?
What do you do when you feel like you are drowning in a sea of resistance—when you can’t seem to see a way out of it?
We know that the Universe can’t give you what you’re not putting out there energetically. So, it becomes a bit of a catch-22: have resistance, react to the resistance, which creates more resistance, which causes you to react more strongly to the resistance, and so on.
Surely there’s an out? Surely there’s a way to circumvent this issue of resistance?
The Problem of Focus
The problem stems from the power of our focus.
For most people, things are running relatively smoothly. Perhaps there are some issues here and there that they’d like to improve, but overall, life is okay.
They have subconscious programs that serve them, if not ideally, then at least adequately. And, since most people are creating by default, just focusing on whatever life brings them, then life carries on as always, neither getting much better nor much worse.
But sometimes, you’ve been dealt a bad program. You have some bug in your subconscious programming that keeps getting triggered, and it’s creating undesirable results in your life.
When this happens, it becomes a perpetual cycle. This “bug”, if you will, is triggered by some event in your life. It causes an emotional reaction, which is at the root of all creation. The emotional reaction sends energy out to the Universe, creating more undesirable experiences in outer reality, which trip up your subconscious bug, and the cycle begins all over again.
In this situation, creating by default is really not very effective. It’s just going to lead you further and further into this cycle. And of course, the longer you’ve been in the cycle, the harder it is to break it.
I was actually very social for a lot of my childhood. That all started to change around the time I entered middle school, all thanks to a couple of unfortunate events. Those unfortunate events created some subconscious program that said, “I’m worthless, and no one likes me.”
That program got worse and worse all through high school. It got to the point that I started to self-harm. Not frequently, but enough.
It took me several years to get out of that cycle. It wasn’t fast or easy. Going to college helped a lot, as I made a lot of new friends. Meeting Christine helped even more. But, I wasn’t totally rid of it until just a few years ago.
My point in telling this story is to say that firstly, I know how it is. And secondly, there is definitely a way out. Yes, it took me years, but I believe that with the tools I have today, it could have been much faster.
It’s always going to be a challenge, and may very well take some time. But, it is possible.
The Prime Delusion of Ego
These subconscious bugs stem from one, and only one, source: the ego’s belief that we are separate individuals.
The ego believes that we are on our own—that because of this, the world is scary and threatening. And so, it sets up all sorts of defenses to protect against these imagined threats.
But, the defenses hurt more than they help. They seal us off from the flow of Universal Energy.
You see, when the ego tries to control the world around it, it inherently mistrusts the Universal Flow. It labels certain things as good or desirable, and other things as bad or undesirable. And, moreover, it tries to push away that which is undesirable, and hold close that which is desirable.
Sound familiar? That’s unfortunately how most people approach the law of attraction, and it just doesn’t work.
It seems like it should, at first inspection. Obviously there are certain experiences that you desire, and certain other experiences that you’d rather not have.
But, when the ego gets involved in these desires, it’s more than just desirable or undesirable—wanted or unwanted. It becomes a matter of survival—of life or death. If the unwanted thing happens, the ego fears annihilation.
This stems from the unconscious mind, which rules over your primitive instincts. It is where your fight-or-flight instinct comes from.
But, a lot of times, that unconscious mind becomes overactive. It activates the fight-or-flight instinct even for situations that are not remotely dangerous.
For instance, say you see someone that you’re interested in. You’d like to ask them out, but the unconscious mind kicks into overdrive and fight-or-flight is activated. It’s not just a mild discomfort, but an all-out trepidation. This could literally keep you from a relationship for years, if not resolved.
Or, say you have a fear of unpleasant financial surprises, like the car suddenly needing expensive repairs. Even when things are good, the unconscious mind is constantly watching out for the slightest sign of things going wrong. Consequently, you’re perpetually focused on the unwanted, and so unwanted things start to happen. After a while, you might just think you’re unlucky, but in reality, you’ve been creating these situations all on your own.
These all come from the ego’s defenses. It pushes away the unwanted (rejection by a love interest, expensive repairs on the car, etc), and holds on to the wanted (having a relationship, achieving financial abundance, etc).
Or at least, it tries to. Because it’s based in ego consciousness, it doesn’t actually quite work out that way.
The ego tries to be the sole creator. It tries to control everything all on its own. But, of course it cannot.
When you try to filter out the Universal Flow, things become rather stuck. It would be like having a GPS, but then refusing to listen to its directions. You think you know better, so you just start taking whatever turns seem the best.
The Universal Flow is your GPS. But, the ego wants to dictate the best way to get to the destination. When it thinks the Universe has made a mistake, it throws a tantrum and does its own thing instead. And, you’re left more lost than when you started.
Leave It to the Universe
I recently started reading a series of books called Jeeves, by P. G. Wodehouse. It’s about a man called, well, Jeeves. He’s the butler to a rather wealthy man named Bertie Wooster.
Anyway, Bertie isn’t the brightest, and regularly gets himself into trouble. But, Jeeves is always there to figure a way out of any situation.
One of the things Bertie starts to say is, “Leave it to Jeeves!” since he’s always the one to come to Bertie’s rescue.
It reminded me of how we should be with the Universe. When we try to handle it just with the ego, we get into more trouble than we started with. When we let go of the desire and let the Universe take care of it for us, then things end up far better than they would have otherwise.
But, just like Bertie, we tend to try to do it on our own, anyway, because we think we know better, or don’t quite trust the Universe to do it for us.
But, think back through your life. Can you truly say that things ended up better when you tried to take care of every little detail yourself, or when you gave it up to the Universe?
The great majority of this work is simply about letting go and leaving it to the Universe.
It’s hard at first, I know. Heck, I still find myself trying to figure out all the details sometimes. But, it’s necessary.
I know how it is. You find yourself faced by what appears to be an insurmountable problem. Your ego does what ego does best (or worst): you try to figure it out. You try to figure out some way of resolving this problem. Of course, it seems impossible, so you are left feeling anxious.
Since you’re focused on the problem, you are just resonating with that problem, and inviting more things like it into your life.
But, if you trust the Universe, and let go of the problem, then you can simply focus on the solution, and so create more of that in your life instead. And, the Universe finds the shortest path to the solution you have been focusing on.
The ego itself isn’t bad, it can just be used improperly. The proper use of ego is to focus on what you want to create. The improper use is to try to take over the Universe’s role and figure it all out yourself.
The first way is a lot less stressful, trust me. 🙂
I can’t even count how many times I’ve been worried about not having enough money for this or that bill, only to have the Universe come through at the last moment. It has always come through for me, no matter what. The more I have let go, the faster it would act, of course.
Over time, I just started to build up that trust. If you have a friend who’s always there for you, then you begin to trust that they will always be there for you. That’s how it is for me with the Universe, at least mostly. 😛
Your Place in the Universe
But what do you do when you don’t have that trust yet? That’s really the root of the problem, as I see it.
I invite you to build your connection with the Universe.
Start by just witnessing the little ways the Universe works in your life every day. Your ego will be tempted to put these down to “coincidence”, but rest assured that there is no such thing.
Simply invite the Universe to show itself to you through your everyday experiences. Set the intention when you first get up in the morning, or really at any point throughout the day.
Then, just observe. I guarantee within a day or two, you’ll start to notice something.
This is just a beginning. A relationship with the Divine cannot be rushed, but it will respond to you, if you invite it to do so. It will never force you to acknowledge its presence, of course.
I also recommend meditating, or otherwise connecting with the Divine, daily. When you start to get in touch with the inner peace that is your essential nature, your outer problems start to appear not so problematic after all. This is the first thing I recommend for all of my spiritual coaching clients from the first session onward.
Then, you may feel inspired to add on other practices, too. That’s totally up to you and your personal connection with the Divine. Personally, I’ve been feeling led to Paganism and a more intimate observance of the cycles of nature. It helps me to feel more connected to the Universe, and discover my place in nature.
I plan on discussing this topic at much greater length in Thursday’s post, but this is a good introduction. I simply recommend reaching out to the Divine and just seeing what happens. Allow the Universe to answer your invitation. Then, just let that connection grow naturally.
Once you have that deeper connection, the egoic need to hang on to your desires with a death grip will start to fall away. You’ll see that there are more important things in the world, and that you are always supported, anyway. This will be the time at which your manifestations really start to flourish, because by letting go of them, you’ve given them the freedom to actually manifest in your life fully.
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Are you stuck in a perpetual cycle of ever-growing resistance? Has this given you some ideas of how to overcome your resistance? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.