There's been a lot of discussion in the comments lately about firstly, how to feel good about your desire, and secondly, how to do this in a healthy way that respects your current reality. I've been saying that manifesting your desires is not just a simple matter of just feeling good, but is quite a bit more intricate than that.
So the question is, what's the balance? How to feel good without falling into the traps outlined in this post?
The Basic Components of the Law of Attraction
So, you want to manifest your desires. But, to understand how feeling good fits into your overall strategy, you must first be aware of the essential components of the law of attraction. I've been laying these out for the past months in particular, not to mention in my basic law of attraction course: 10 Essential Keys to Make the Law of Attraction Work for You.
If I were to summarize the last 2 months or so of the new understanding I have gained about the law of attraction, it would go thus:
- Resistance must not be feared, but embraced, as only by working through it can you fully embody your goal
- With big, next level goals, you need creative tension to generate the momentum to get there
- In order to generate creative tension, you must deliberately choose your goal
- Using the zero state, you can overcome limiting beliefs and create a new story that you'd rather be true
- Giving your resistance non-reaction and radical acceptance, while giving emotional investment in what you want to experience more of, you can generate the subconscious structures to quickly achieve your goal (more about that this coming Thursday)
That's a very high-level overview, but if you understand and apply all 5 of the above points, you would almost certainly jumpstart your success with manifesting.
A New Paradigm of Feeling Good
In order to fully grasp how to feel good so as to increase your success with manifesting, we must understand how it fits into the above points. As I hope you see, it is far more involved than you might initially think. After all, we know that while feeling good is an important part of the manifestation process, it is not always a vital one. My goal is to discover the easiest, quickest path to successful manifestation, and feeling good is definitely part of that, when placed in the right context, with the right understanding.
So I want to outline several ways that people try to feel good throughout the manifestation process. Several of these ways are undesirable and counterproductive to achieving your goals. Towards the end, I'll discuss how to feel good in a way that is healthy and authentic.
Your Relationship with Tension
The understanding of creative tension in the manifestation process is vital, but as I've mentioned, a lot of people are uncomfortable with tension, and try to do what they can to reduce or even eliminate it. However, creative tension is absolutely essential in order to create the necessary momentum to reach your next level goals. Learning how to feel good, while it definitely helps, cannot replace the need for creative tension.
When you attempt to reduce creative tension, you are cutting that momentum. It's like trying to fire an arrow without enough tension in the bowstring. Tension is required in order to fire off the arrow and give it enough momentum to fly to the target. Without that tension, it's just not going to go anywhere.
I've also been thinking of it as a rollercoaster. Even though I hate rollercoasters, I know that many of them start with a large ascent uphill. On the very few I've been on, you could almost feel the tension of the car against gravity as it got higher and higher on the hill. Then, it has just a momentary pause, before racing through the rest of the rollercoaster. If the tension weren't built up like that, the momentum just wouldn't be there. It wouldn't go far, and wouldn't be very enjoyable, for those who like that sort of thing. 😛
In both examples, any attempt to cut that tension is actually going to result in a lack of success. The arrow won't fly, and the rollercoaster won't move very far.
Getting Comfortable with Discomfort
My catchphrase of late has been, “Get comfortable with discomfort.” That, to me, is a summary of the manifestation process, especially for next level goals.
In a book I'm reading, called Moving Through Parallel Worlds To Achieve Your Dreams: The Epic Guide To Unlimited Power by Kevin L. Michel, the author says:
Reality does not exist to make any one of us feel comfortable – in fact, no matter what one believes, we can agree that we exist in this reality for the purpose of growth – spiritual or evolutionary. And growth comes not from comfort, but from discomfort.
And this is a guy definitely talking about how to create your own reality, and how to feel good as an integral part of that process. But, he agrees with what I've been saying, that discomfort is an integral part of the process. You just don't have growth without it.
By the way, it's a wonderful book, and I plan on reviewing it once I've finished it.
3 Ways Feeling Good Can Stall Your Manifestation
So first, let's talk about the ways that you shouldn't try to feel good. Largely this falls into the category of escaping resistance.
1. By Dropping Your Vision
The first popular way people try to feel good is by dropping their vision. This is often the case when their goal brings up a lot of resistance, and it's easier to drop the vision of their goal than to stick with it to completion.
The truth is that many of us just aren't very good at actually committing to a goal. Commitment is scary, because goals require something of us. It's often easier to say, “Eh, never mind. I don't really care if I get that goal.”
The Universe Will Give You Whatever You Ask
In that book,
“I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store;
For Life is just an employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.
I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have paid.
The Universe will give you whatever you envision and embody within yourself. Learning how to feel good in the right context is vital for this very reason, because it helps you to embody the vibrational signature of that goal. However, that process of embodiment of our goals is often terrifying, especially when the gap between here and there is so large. It can be extremely tempting to drop that vision, and by doing so you'll immediately experience a huge wave of relief. But, it will not generate creative tension, and it will not move you forward on your path, because it is not creating the necessary subconscious structures to achieve your goals.
Solution: Deliberately Choose Your Goal
The solution is to deliberately choose your goal—to make a commitment to your goal.
I explained in a recent comment that your goals are like children. Each of them requires nurturing, love, and patience in order to fully develop into what we want them to be.
When you make a commitment to your goal, or as I've said before, make it non-negotiable, you resolve to stick to the path to the end. You put your will behind it.
Doing this will actually make sticking with the goal the path of least resistance, even when resistance arises. So, if you feel tempted to drop your vision due to resistance, ask yourself, “Have I committed myself to this goal? Have I made it non-negotiable?” Students of the 10 keys course will recognize this as the very first of the keys to successful manifesting.
If you have not committed, then ask yourself, “Am I willing to fully commit to this goal, or is it not important enough to me?” This decision will be extremely clarifying for you, as it'll reveal to you your true priorities.
2. By Lying to Yourself About Current Reality
Another way that people try to feel good is by sugar-coating current reality. They try to make it seem better than it really is.
Creative tension requires you to feel the gap between where you are, and where you want to be. Just like in #1 above, trying to reduce this tension will only result in less momentum.
This one requires a bit of subtlety, because there is nothing whatsoever wrong with finding things to appreciate in your life, and as you continue to discover how to feel good about your goal, you will often do this. However, some people take this too far, and try to “act as if” to the extent that they fool themselves almost into believing that they have already achieved the goal.
The thing about reality is that it has a funny habit of reminding you about its existence. The reason that your current reality exists in its undesirable state is because of some story you are telling, or some limiting belief, which holds it in place. Just adding a veneer of “feeling good” doesn't do anything but temporarily fool you into thinking that things are better than they are. Eventually, because of the current subconscious structures, current reality will reveal itself, often in a bigger, uglier way than before.
Solution: Be Honest About Current Reality
I often say that the Universe will push your buttons until you no longer have buttons to push. The Universe is a professional button-pusher. As I quoted earlier, discomfort is the name of the game when working towards your goals, or even just living as a human being. Funnily enough, learning how to feel good often requires moving through some discomfort, first.
So, embrace that resistance. Be honest with what's here right now, and stop giving it your emotional reaction. When resistance presents itself, sit with it. Enter the zero state. Let that energy flow through. Demagnetize your subconscious mind to that energy.
3. By Distracting Yourself
I've mentioned many times before my annoyance with the advice to distract yourself. On any number of LOA forums, you will see advice to the effect of, “Just go watch cat videos, or think of cuddly little puppies.”
The misconception is that feeling good, in general, is sufficient to manifest your goal. It is not. Learning how to feel good requires also realizing what exactly you should be feeling good about. 🙂
Your subconscious mind knows what you're focusing on, and what you're feeling. If you feel good about puppies and kittens, all you're telling your subconscious mind is that puppies and kittens are something you want to experience more of in your life.
I'm holding back from yet again quoting my new favorite book…—Oh, forget it. In Moving Through Parallel Worlds To Achieve Your Dreams, he says:
What we focus on, through the lens of emotion, expands.
So, focus on kittens, while feeling good, and you're sending a nice strong message to your subconscious that you want more of that. You're not telling it you want more abundance, or a better relationship, or that dream job.
I think people do this because it's simple advice. “Don't like what's in your current reality? Just think about superficial things that do feel good to you. Don't face the discomfort under any circumstances.”
Solution: Get Comfortable with Discomfort
It's that discomfort that helps you to grow, and to generate the subconscious structures necessary to achieve your next level goal.
So, as I said earlier, get comfortable with discomfort. When you choose your goal, realize that resistance is absolutely going to come up. It doesn't have to be debilitating, or even very major, but if your goal is over there and you are here, then there's a gap, and that gap will translate to resistance and discomfort.
Don't run away from it. Choose that goal, stick to the vision, and don't give your emotional investment to the resistance. Let it go and enter the zero state. That's all there is to it.
How to Feel Good and Quickly Achieve Your Goals
I've told you all the ways not to feel good. 😆 But now you actually want to know how to feel good, and how to do it in a way that will speed up your manifestation results.
First of all, don't obsess about feeling good every moment of the day. It's more important to enter the zero state, than to make sure you are in some joyful state 24/7. In fact, being in some perpetual state of joy and bliss is not even possible. These are just emotions, and they will come and go, just like any other emotion.
Use “Feeling Good” as a Tool
But there is power in feeling good. You use your emotions as a tool, instead of being controlled by them.
When you feel good about your goal, you are sending a powerful message to your subconscious mind that this goal is important. In fact, the more frequently you feel good about your goal, and the more intense the emotion, the more insistent that message will be that this goal is more important than whatever stories or beliefs your subconscious mind is currently holding in contradiction to that goal.
Emotional energy is precious, and not to be wasted. It is through emotional energy that you tell your subconscious mind what is important, and what should be experienced more often. Then, your subconscious mind will make that happen.
Your Emotional Currency
You can't afford to waste your emotions on resistance. Imagine they are like money. You only have so much of it. Would you rather spend it on something you don't like, getting more of that thing in your reality, or would you rather spend it on things you do like?
When you feel good about your goal, you are trading that emotional currency for experiences that are closer and closer to your goal. The more you spend on that goal, the more your subconscious mind realizes that you want more like this, and so it gets easier and easier to get more of that experience.
That's how you use feeling good as a tool. You deliberately, mindfully, use your emotions where they can do the most good for you.
As long as you are not running away from the resistance, the simple act of feeling good about your goal a few times a day will gradually train your subconscious mind that this is your new desired reality. Once you've convinced it of this fact, it will do everything in its considerable power to make it happen.
How About You?
Now it's your turn. Has this post helped you to learn how to feel good in order to achieve your goals, and how not to escape your resistance? Perhaps contemplate on where you have been spending your emotional currency, and what results you have been getting from that. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.