In this podcast, Brandon, Christine, and Justin discuss the importance of questioning and working through your limiting beliefs. When you can look at each believe you hold subconsciously, and truly question it, that is the beginning of a life of success and freedom.
Music composed by Collective Intelligence Music
Resources Mentioned in the Podcast
- The Universal Search Engine: How to Find the Answers You Seek
- Focus on the Answer, Not the Question
- My Journey: An Introduction
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Discussed in today’s podcast:
- Quote of the Week
- Your Beliefs Can Control You
- Identifying Beliefs
- Is Your Path the Easy Path?
- Sources of Beliefs
- Questions to Ask
- Help and Techniques
Brandon: Welcome to Co-Create Your Life. This is episode 28, “Are You Controlling Your Beliefs, or Are Your Beliefs Controlling You?” I am Brandon Olivares.
Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
Justin: And I’m Justin Williams.
Brandon: Today we have hopefully quite an interesting topic going on about your beliefs and what influence or effect they have on you. I think that will be interesting. Before we get into that, of course I have an announcement. That is if you want to see the show notes or sign up for the transcript or even leave a comment on this transcript, which we always appreciate, you can go to cocreationcoaching.org/create028
I’m really excited because we’re almost to episode 30. That will be pretty cool.
Christine: Yes, it would.
Quote of the Week
Brandon: Again, today’s topic is beliefs. I know I’ve talked about beliefs before, but I’ve mentioned this in the support call the other day, in the Creators Circle call. I mentioned this guy whose course I’m taking, Vishen Lakhiani. It’s “Becoming Limitless.” He’s talking a lot about beliefs, so it’s got me thinking about the effect beliefs have on us. I’ll talk a little bit about what he has to say about it in a little while.
But first, you know what time it is. It is time for our weekly segment, “Quote of the Week.”
This week’s quote is from Maxwell Maltz. I think this is a really cool quote this week.
It is no exaggeration to say that every human being is hypnotized to some extent, either by ideas he has critically accepted from others, or ideas he has repeated to himself or convinced himself are true. These negative ideas have exactly the same effect upon our behavior as the negative ideas implanted in the mind of a hypnotized subject by a professional hypnotist.
Christine: Wow. That’s a long quote.
Justin: That’s a complicated quote there.
Your Beliefs Can Control You
Brandon: [laughs] Basically, the idea is that we all have beliefs and that we are controlled by these beliefs to some extent, almost like a hypnotized subject. Especially these negative beliefs that we carry around. When we hold these negative beliefs, it’s like we’re hypnotized. We go around life and don’t really think critically about these beliefs. We just accept them. It’s the same as being hypnotized. I thought that was a really interesting quote. It really touches upon this subject that I wanted to discuss: the power that beliefs have. We’re talking mainly about in a negative way—the negative beliefs that you hold that you may not even realize that you’re holding.
I get clients all the time that we do a lot of belief work, because that’s just a big part of this stuff. A lot of times, I’ll pinpoint a belief that they are holding, and they didn’t even realize that that was part of what they were holding. I’ll say, often, one little thing. It will click. They’ll say, “Oh.” The light bulb goes off.
Christine: Or you say something and probably trigger a negative belief. Then they react.
Brandon: Not usually. Usually we’re just poking around. They tell me what they’re feeling. I mean, that can happen, but….
Christine: I’m more talking about when you do that to me.
Justin: Well, that’s a little different.
Brandon: That’s my job. [laughs]
Christine: It is your job. Someone has to point out your blind spots.
Brandon: That’s right. I’ll do this to a client a lot of times. I’ll say one little thing that I can see because I’m an objective third party. They’ll not even realize that was a belief. This happens all the time. It’s really shocking. It happens to me, too, so I know how it is. [laughs] It’s not unique. It happens, I think, to everyone.
Justin: Yes, it does. I discover them about me. I’m just sitting here talking them out right now. I was doing it the last several months.
Brandon: Right. It’s hard because a lot of these beliefs are in our blind spot. We don’t realize it because these beliefs, woven together, make up this net or cage around us. We will happily—or at least willingly—live in the confines of this cage for oftentimes our entire lifetimes, never realizing that it was of our own making and that we have the power to deconstruct it and do what we want to do, to have freedom. That’s a lot of why I’m in this work. I do see that. I’m a very observant person, as both of you know.
Justin: I thought you had all blind spots. You are very observant.
Brandon: When I’m interacting with others, I’ll witness and observe their beliefs that they are operating by. It’s really fascinating to watch that. Sometimes sad because it’s a negative thing that they’re letting affect them, but I’ll watch and observe that. That’s why I do this sort of work. Deconstructing those beliefs is so freeing. I know I’ve had to deconstruct a lot of my own. I mentioned before how I dropped out of college. I had to deconstruct the belief that I could only be successful if I graduated college. That was a major belief drilled into my head from childhood. I had to deconstruct the belief that I had to get a traditional job to be successful.
Justin: Oh, yes. With that one, it’s like people point out that it’s easier, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it that way. I love telling people that. You don’t have to do it the way the majority of people or peers are doing it. You can do it differently if that’s going to work for you. Don’t follow the herd all the time. [laughs]
Brandon: Exactly. We have these rules in place that are just fake. They’re not real. They’re just beliefs, but we act as if they are indisputable fact.
Is Your Path the Easy Path?
Justin: Have you ever had the effect that people use their beliefs as an easier way to do something? Like with the college thing or certain things similar to it. It looks easier, but then that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s your path. I’ve gotten that. They take a belief system—it could be any belief system—and they go, “Oh, this is the easiest way for me to get it.” Everybody else is, but that religion or whatever it is doesn’t necessarily work for you. Just because your entire family does it doesn’t mean you have to.
Brandon: My thing is, define “easy.” Let’s take the example of college. When someone says, “It’s easier to be successful if you graduate college, get a traditional job, and make a lot of money.”
Justin: It’s not a guarantee you’ll make a lot of money, either. [laughs]
Christine: It might be hard to find a job.
Brandon: Here’s the thing, though. Physically speaking, maybe on an objective level, it looks like it’s more likely to be easier. I put a lot of conditions in there, but you know what I mean. It looks like it’s probably easier that way, but it’s negating the reality that the spiritual dimension is primary. I’ve talked about the spiritual being primary before. When the spiritual is primary and we acknowledge that the spiritual is primary, then what’s easiest is what’s on our path. Period. End of story.
Justin: Sometimes it just takes more work that you want to put into it to actually execute certain systems. It’s like, “Guys, just work for it.” [laughs] Don’t even.
Brandon: Sometimes it’s actually easier to follow our path.
Justin: Oh, it’s definitely easier to do that. It feels more graceful to follow it.
Brandon: It’s maybe less certain sometimes. Let’s say you follow the traditional path. You graduate college. You go get a practical “real” job, but your soul feels dead.
Justin: Then you’re wasting it.
Brandon: Then you’re depressed. Millions and millions of people are depressed today. Millions are on some kind of psychiatric medication, some kind of antidepressants, antianxiety medication. We just talked about that in the Readers Questions the other day. Is that really easier?
Brandon: Then they push off their dreams until they’re retired. “Now I can actually go on vacation and stuff. But wait, I didn’t save enough money.” They don’t actually ever fulfill their dreams because they were stuck. They were hypnotized (going back to the quote) by this idea that this was the right path for everyone.
Sources of Beliefs
Christine: I think that we forget that we have free will. We think we’re having free will. Your parents drilling these beliefs—you may as well not, because you forget about it. But we have to remember that our life is our life. But parents I don’t think realize the damage they can cause their kids. Or any belief system can do that.
Brandon: I think parents are often well-meaning. I don’t think it’s necessarily about free will. It’s about parents thinking (my mother was like this) that that’s the only way to be successful. Or the most guaranteed way, so they encourage their kids to do that. But it’s not. This person I’ve been talking about, Vishen Lakhiani, says how 50% of the employees at Google do not have a college degree.
Christine: That is so cool.
Brandon: Because they’re realizing more and more that a college degree really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make the person. It doesn’t even guarantee that you’re going to have a good worker. There are lots of good workers who don’t have a college degree.
Justin: Especially in that tech field. I really wish I had gotten. I’ve tried to tell people this, because they say I’ve got to get this. You can break the rules in some fields, in the tech fields. You can’t do it in all fields. Don’t try that. But in the tech field, definitely you can break the rules and do some things you couldn’t do in, say, the human service field. It’s pretty neat. I like that. I was trying to head that way a little bit from time to time. I still have an opening or two there if I want to pursue that. I kind of like that feeling.
Brandon: I think that’s a case of the grass is greener on the other side. I think you can break the rules in any field if you really try. There are people doing it. If you look in any field, there are people who are going against the flow or grain and breaking the rules. It’s definitely happening everywhere. It’s not just in tech. It’s not just in one field or another. It’s happening in every field more and more and more. These structures are being questioned by people more and more.
Look at counseling. If you want to go the traditional counseling route, you’re going to get a bachelor’s, a master’s degree.
Justin: An LPC.
Brandon: Sometimes you’ll get a PhD.
Justin: An LPC, usually. No, that’d be an LPC usually.
Brandon: Christine’s mother has a PhD, so it happens.
Justin: Yes, well, so does my professor.
Brandon: Then you go and get the training. You go through practicals. You have to follow all these rules and trainings and whatnot.
Justin: That’s why I prefer life coaching. [laughs]
Brandon: You’re constrained by what you can teach to your patients and what you can do with them and what you can talk to them about. Now, if you’re a hypnotherapist, a life coach—
Justin: Energy worker.
Brandon: All sorts of things that are totally unregulated and totally without any kind of rules around them. You can do anything. You don’t have to have a degree. You barely have to have training. I have my NLP training, but anyone can call themselves a coach, for better or worse. It’s a field where you have to be careful who you’re going to go to.
Justin: Yes, be careful with that. [laughs] That’s one thing. We’re not saying not to be a counselor. We’re just saying you can walk your own path.
Brandon: But then, there are really awful counselors, too, so training doesn’t guarantee anything.
Justin: I was right about to go there.
Brandon: Having all that training under your belt—I mean, heck, there are bad doctors, and doctors go through tons of training. Years and years and years of training, and there are horrible doctors.
Christine: I’ve had bad massage therapists. I’m like, “You went to school? You suck.” I didn’t say it.
Justin: Yes. No. You’re right. I wouldn’t want anyone using cognitive behavioral therapy on me without training, though. But yes. [laughs]
Brandon: But NLP has a lot…
Justin: NLP’s great.
Brandon: Similar things. Even a lot of the psychological techniques are things that can easily be self-taught, at least from what I’ve seen. I took some classes with Christine when she was in college, a psychology class. Not everything. People with training aren’t magically better people or more skilled or anything else.
Justin: If it’s their path, they should do that. If it’s not their path, they shouldn’t. It’s why I didn’t get the CRC and some of the other things in disability and rehab field. Everyone was saying, “You want your CRC.” “Well, I don’t think I need that, guys. The masters program was a great thing for me to get, but the rest?”
Brandon: It’s not that no one should do that, it’s that more and more people now are finding ways around the rules and successfully implementing those. People have tried to regulate hypnosis and hypnotherapy. People have tried to regulate coaching. But there’s always going to be ways around the rules because passion finds its way. Passion finds a path.
Justin: The metaphysical field and the coaching field are two great ways to….
Brandon: There is always a way. My point is, what’s easier—yes, if you’re an atheist, then you can’t fathom any other way than what is physically the easiest. Let’s say going to college seems like the easiest. Someone who doesn’t believe in the spiritual…
Justin: Most Christians.
Brandon: Right. Someone who doesn’t believe in the spiritual or believe that they have control over their reality is going to take that path. But if that’s not your path, it’s going to deaden you. It’s going to just kill your soul and weaken your connection with your higher self. Following your path—while it’s a bit uncertain sometimes—is by far, in my opinion, the easiest. There are a lot of so-called rules in every area of life that we have to be bold enough to question and find another way (if that’s what we’re called to). That’s what we do.
It can be anything, but like I said, if you are being held by these beliefs, it’s not good for you. You’re going to be trapped by them. It’s hard to find your way out unless you’re willing to question those, which is hard. It’s scary to do that. I’ve done that all my life to the best of my ability, questioning rules, questioning what had to be done and things like that. It’s why I don’t really work in any religion. [laughs] It’s just not my thing. I’m not into rules. It’s just not what I do.
Questions to Ask
Brandon: You have to go and find those rules or beliefs that you’re being held by and change them and question them, whatever you have to do. I think the biggest way of doing that is simply looking at your own day-to-day experience and ask yourself, “What isn’t optimal right now?” Really be 100% honest with that. Not, “Well, I have to do this, so that doesn’t count.” No, everything counts. Everything is on the table. What do I always tell you, Christine? There are no sacred cows.
Christine: Yes, it’s true.
Justin: There are no sacred cows, and you’ve got to get whatever it is you…
Brandon: No sacred cows. Every belief is on the chopping block, so to speak, to be questioned.
Christine: So you say I have sacred cows.
Justin: It’s okay to compartmentalize stuff if you know you’re in a certain area. For example, if you have to have a project done. Do we have to have these beliefs? But for the most part, you don’t want to have something sneak up on you. “Oh, I could have let that go three or four or five months ago.”
Brandon: Or years.
Justin: Yes, years ago.
Brandon: Some people do it for years.
Justin: Years ago, yes.
Brandon: You have to ask yourself, “What’s not optimal in my life right now? What am I not crazy about? What am I not absolutely insanely ecstatic about in my life right now?” I’m not saying you can change that tomorrow, but you can start by acknowledging what you don’t like in your life. I’ve talked a long, long time ago (maybe 2015) about the universal search engine in a post.
Christine: That wasn’t that long ago.
Justin: That was 2016.
Brandon: Maybe. Early 2016, if so. I don’t know.
Christine: You can search for it.
Brandon: That’s true. I had this post quite a while ago—over a year ago—about the universal search engine. I mentioned it a few times, actually. I think one of my first posts in 2016 was about focusing on questions and getting answers. I do remember that. November 2015. Anyway, what I talked about is the universe is primed to answer questions. I love this fact. I notice it all the time. I’ll be writing a blog post. I’m used to channeling and being plugged in like that. I’ll be writing a blog post and be like, “I don’t know where I’m going next.” So what I’ll do is write down a question. “What would this person ask next?” Then the information just starts coming. I don’t come up with it. I don’t think about it. I just start writing. The answer is there because the universe answers questions. That’s what it does. I write down the question and within a couple seconds, there’s the answer and it’s just being written down. I don’t even feel like I’m doing it half the time. Have you ever had that experience, Justin?
Justin: Yes. I have, actually. When I’m in the mood, I’ll channel some of the novels that I’ve written. A lot of times, when I feel the flow stop, I’ll just quit writing. I don’t even care. Then I come back to it later, and the flow picks right back up. I don’t even stress over it. Oh, okay, I’m done. Let me add another novel. Then I ask, “Okay, guys, what do we do next?” Then I’ll let them. A day later, when I decide to write again, it’s there. Done. I don’t even have to stretch for it that much.
Brandon: I take a lot of notes about my thoughts for future blog posts or classes or whatnot. If you look at my notes, sometimes they’ll be raw inspiration, like I read a quote I really like. I’ll write down ideas about it, what it clicks or resonates with within me. I know at least a few occasions where I did this. If I have an inspiration, I’ll write it down, but I don’t exactly understand how it’s applied. I’ll ask questions and write down the answers. Then I’ll ask another question and write down the answer. Then I’ll ask another question. I’ll write down the answer. Just like that until I have a full understanding of it.
My point of all that was that when you ask a question of the universe, put it out there like “How can I change this belief? How can I get out of this situation I don’t really like?” Putting it out there creates structural tension.
Justin: It’s like a balance.
Brandon: It’s an unanswered question. The universe (if you’re open to it) will answer immediately. A lot of times we’re not open to it, if it’s something we’re really attached to or fearful about, so it will answer in signs and different things you’ll see throughout your day. Ask questions of the universe. I do this all the time.
Justin: I do, too.
Brandon: Every single day, I will say, “Hey, tell me how to do this. What am I doing wrong here? Something’s missing here.” I’ll ask questions all the time.
Justin: You don’t always write them down, do you?
Brandon: No, just in my mind.
Justin: I do, too.
Brandon: Just in my head. They always, always, always get answered, without fail. You can be in communion with the universe. You should be in communion with the universe. I don’t understand a lot of religious people who talk about prayer as though it’s a one-sided thing. They’re praying about it.
Justin: Are they listening?
Brandon: Where’s the answer? The answer is there. I get answers every single day.
Justin: Are they listening, because if you keep praying, actually you won’t get an answer because you won’t be listening. [laughs]
Brandon: You’re talking. The answers are there. Seriously, there is no excuse for us not having answers in this life. Yes, we’re pretty far removed from the source of things and our higher selves, but we still have that connection. You have to practice opening that and asking questions and getting the answers to those questions in one way or another. They are always there. There’s always something listening out there. Not even “out there.” Just right here within yourself.
Justin: Yes, your connection.
Brandon: Your connection with the universe. You will get answers, so you just have to listen. That’s what you have to do with beliefs: question them. If you’re stuck in one and you don’t know the way out, then ask, “How can I get out of this?” Of course, there is (hint, hint) coaching. [laughs]
Help and Techniques
Brandon: I do this kind of thing all the time. The second or third session, we always do belief work, going back to previous situations and saying, “What bothers you about this thing?” Changing this or that thing until it doesn’t bother them anymore. I had a client just last week who had this really, really charged situation from 7 years ago. We worked on it for five minutes. I’m not going to say it was gone altogether because that’s hard to do in a few minutes. But from what she said, it was probably 90% gone.
Christine: That’s crazy.
Brandon: It was very significantly reduced. That’s the kind of thing we do. It’s sometimes hard to do that on your own. I have lots of techniques—some that I’ve developed on my own, and some that I’ve borrowed from others. But that’s the kind of thing you have to do. Question your beliefs. We’ll talk about this some other time, probably, but reduce charges. Charge energy from other situations is also important. We talked about self-forgiveness before and taking responsibility. That’s what you do. It is up to you and you alone to change your beliefs. You’re the only one who can decide you’re going to do it. You might get outside help, like I said, with coaching or whatnot, but you have to decide to do so.
Are you going to continue living inside the cage you have been—willing, but not happy or at least not ecstatically happy with everything in your life? Or are you going to question the beliefs and deconstruct that cage and find the path to freedom? That’s really the question. It’s not an overnight thing. This is a lifelong process. For me, I’ve succeeded significantly in several areas of my life, and there are a couple areas of my life where I’m still working at it. Even the areas I’ve succeeded at, I’m still picking at them to get even more out of them. More growth, more potential. As I do that, stuck beliefs will come up. This is a great thing about the manifestation process. Everyone knows I never encourage going out and searching for beliefs, necessarily.
Christine and Justin: No.
Brandon: But as you work on your goals, the beliefs will come to you. If you say, “I want more money,” and your subconscious says, “I can’t have money. I can’t have a lot of money, because (whatever).” That’s a belief. Why is that? Why is that true? Or if you say, “I really want to start a business.” “Oh, no. You have to work and be responsible.” Why? These beliefs are going to sound really, really, really obvious, and really, really, really like fact. The way things are. You have to be willing to question everything. Like I said, no sacred cows. Everything is on the table to be questioned. Only when you do that can you really start making huge progress.
It’s not easy. I always pick on those who make the law of attraction to be this easy thing where you visualize and make vision boards and affirmations and you get your thing in a few days or a couple weeks. This is work. It really is. It takes belief change. It takes persistence. It takes trust. It takes a lot of different things. It’s spiritual and inner work. You have to keep that up. You change one belief. Then you say, “Now what? What else is there in my life that I’m not absolutely in love with?” That’s the next thing to work on. I’m going to work on changing that. I’ll tackle those beliefs as they come up.
You are your own canvas. You are your own canvas that you can paint upon and create whatever work of art you want to, but a lot of us just take what we’re given and just go with that, not knowing we can change it. I think that’s unfortunate. We can absolutely change it. So that’s the process. I’m not going to go into specifics. I’ve talked about the specifics of changing beliefs before. I’ve talked about the Work before, which is my favorite. I use it all the time, although I’ve modified it in my coaching practice. I’ve added a question. I won’t say that question here because then, why would you come to me? [laughs]
Justin: Come on, Brandon. What’s the question? Don’t keep us in suspense.
Christine: Find out and get coaching.
Brandon: Yes, find out. [laughs] I have added a question to it that to me, really takes it a lot farther than you can otherwise. It really speeds up the process of changing that belief and switching to something opposite of that. The Work is a great one. I go through a lot of self-forgiveness stuff. It’s funny because the meditation I’ve been focusing on—I haven’t talked about this publicly, but there’s this meditation about the 6-phase meditation. Part of that is forgiveness of someone else, a situation. I think it could be about yourself, too. That releases stuck energy. It’s so true. It’s funny that it’s come up now because I’ve been focusing on that lately.
Christine: I know.
Brandon: That kind of work, taking responsibility. There’s lot of different techniques for changing your beliefs. I’m not going to focus on them here because a lot of them are obvious. There are lots of them out there. You can pick and choose what works for you, but just do it. Be willing to question. That’s the main thing. Just by the act of questioning. If you’re going to do anything, ask this question of yourself, “Is that true?” That’s the question to ask of any belief. Is that really 100% absolutely true? Go deep within to get that answer, not just, “Oh, yes. It’s true because scientifically this is the way it is. People are more likely to succeed when they have a college degree.” No. Is that really, absolutely, always true?
Justin: Then you say, “Is that true for you?” That’s how I always do it.
Brandon: Is that true in your life?
Justin: I don’t mind someone telling me the odds. That’s fine. It’s nice to know what my odds are. But then, in South Carolina, 80% unemployment rate for persons with disabilities. That means 80% chance. If I go with that….[laughs]
Brandon: There’s a difference between “this is likely” and “this is an absolute truth.” There’s a difference. Everyone knows I posted about my journey on Monday.
Justin: I didn’t get to read that.
Brandon: You should read it.
Justin: I am going to read it.
Brandon: It’s gotten a lot of comments already. My weight loss journey, starting all that stuff. I found studies. Only 3-5% of those who try to lose weight succeed long-term, keep it off for more than 3 years. 3-5%.
Justin: You can do it, though.
Brandon: Over 95% of people who try fail. That says the odds are not awesome. But is it true that it’s impossible? Obviously not.
Justin: And then, is it true for you? It’s not true.
Brandon: I’m pretty stubborn. [laughs]
Justin: Don’t get caught up in numbers. That’s just a base for you to know what you’re up against. All you’ve got to do is decide for you is that true in this context. Can you do it?
Christine: You can beat the odds, too. You could use it as a challenge.
Justin: Yes, you can.
Brandon: It depends on how you look at it. When you say there’s only 3-5%, then there are some people who succeeded.
Justin: That’s right. I need to talk to those people.
Brandon: It’s all on what you focus on. You can focus on the ones who fail or the ones who succeed. That’s how it works. I hope that helps everyone. I think it’s a good discussion that we had to have. If you would like to see the show notes for this or sign up for the transcript or leave a comment, you can go to cocreationcoaching.org/create028
If you would like to see our podcast on iTunes to rate, review, or subscribe to it, you can go to cocreationcoaching.org/createitunes
I hope that everyone has a wonderful week. With that, I am Brandon Olivares.
Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
Justin: I’m Justin Williams.
Brandon: Anything is possible.
Discussed in today’s podcast:
- Quote of the Week
- Your Beliefs Can Control You
- Identifying Beliefs
- Is Your Path the Easy Path?
- Sources of Beliefs
- Questions to Ask
- Help and Techniques
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