In this episode of Co-Create Your Life, Brandon, Christine, and Justin discuss the principle of homeostasis. By discovering your own point of homeostasis for each of your goals, you can realize why you are manifesting the results you are, and how to change that almost immediately using the power of the subconscious mind.
Music composed by Collective Intelligence Music
Discussed in today’s podcast (click the link to jump to that section of the transcript):
- What is homeostasis?
- Why people get stuck in horrible circumstances
- Why the subconscious mind holds on to bad habits
- The law of attraction isn’t just about feeling good
- The principle of homeostasis in relationships
- The principle of homeostasis applies to all manifestations
- Tension: The primary driver behind the law of attraction
- Moving your point of homeostasis
- Move your point of homeostasis before trying to manifest
- The goal should feel uncomfortable at first
- Excitement should only be temporary
- The subconscious mind will fill in the gap
Brandon: Welcome to Co-Create Your Life. This is episode 15, “The Law of Attraction and the Principle of Homeostasis.” I am Brandon Olivares.
Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
Justin: I’m Justin Williams.
Brandon: Today we are talking about a new principle I’ve been writing about and speaking about, especially in last week’s support call, if you want to take a look at that. That will be in the show notes. It’s something I’m now calling the principle of homeostasis, but last week I was calling it “comfort zone.” I’ll talk about that later. It’s just basically something that, if you don’t pay attention to, can be a really big reason that you aren’t getting the manifestations that you are expecting to get. It can really block you from the manifestations that you want to get in your life. We’ll talk about that later, but that is what we are talking about today.
Before any of that, I’m going to make some announcements. If you’d like to see the show notes, read the transcript, or leave a comment, you can go to cocreationcoaching.org/create015.
Again, we’re talking about what I’m calling “the law of homeostasis.” (Note: Here I meant the “principle of homeostasis”, but just misspoke.) It came from a discussion we were having last week about what feels normal to you. I’ve talked about this a little bit before: the need for a desire to feel ordinary. Do you remember that, both of you?
Christine and Justin: Yes.
Brandon: Obviously you do, Christine, because I always talk to you. [laughs]
Christine: When do you not talk to me? [laughs]
Brandon: I don’t know. [laughs]
What is Homeostasis?
Brandon: Talking about a desire needing to feel ordinary—that’s all very true. It’s also in the discussion of subconscious structures, which I’ve talked about quite a while ago. That’s a big part of all of this. Basically, the principle of homeostasis is the idea that you always have a comfort zone. You always have a region of some area of life (which I’ll clarify more) that you feel comfortable in. If you exit too much from that comfort zone, then your subconscious mind reacts. The reason I call it homeostasis is because if you’re aware of the term “homeostasis” in science, especially with biology, your body always wants to return to homeostasis. It wants to return to a certain temperature. It wants to return to its default state.
Brandon: Right. The subconscious mind and the brain itself is the same way. It has certain beliefs. It has certain ways of being that, when it’s within those constructs (which I have called “the subconscious structures”), it’s happy. Even if those structures aren’t really serving you that well. I’ll talk a little bit about that later. As long as it’s within those constructs, it’s happy. It’s familiar. It’s known.
Immediately once you cross outside the bounds of those constructs, the bounds of that comfort zone, then the mind kicks into this need to return to homeostasis. It has a need to return to normalcy, whether that’s above or below the comfort zone—it doesn’t really matter. It will do whatever it has to do to return to that point.
Something you need to realize about the subconscious mind is that it doesn’t really care about happiness as such. What the subconscious mind cares about is survival. Evolutionarily speaking, it doesn’t matter if we’re happy. I mean, yes, to some extent we have those feel-good chemicals that kick in when we’re doing something that’s good for us. But it doesn’t care so much if we’re always happy. It cares if we survive. If there is a threat, then it’s going to run away from that threat or fight that threat—fight-or-flight response. If it’s doing something that’s keeping you alive, it really doesn’t care so much how you feel about it.
This is why people can be in really, really horrible circumstances, but it can be familiar to the subconscious mind, and so it stays there. It’s really hard, if you notice, for people in those sorts of circumstances to leave, because it’s no longer familiar. The subconscious mind will do everything in its power (which is a lot). [laughs] It’s like 88% of your total awareness.
Christine: Which is creepy.
Justin: It’s a lot.
Why People Get Stuck in Horrible Circumstances
Brandon: It will do a lot [laughs] to keep you where it’s familiar, where it feels safe. Now, you might not feel safe, but it does because it’s familiar. It’s known. The subconscious mind does not respond to happiness and things like that. It responds to what’s familiar, what’s known, what feels safe, what feels normal. This is why people stay in abusive relationships.
Christine: Yes, it’s normal to them, right? They don’t know anything else.
Brandon: Something will happen, and it will kick them over the edge. They’ll leave for a while, but then the subconscious mind kicks in and says, “Look what you had, at least.” They’ll go back. They’ll go back over and over and over again until someone either (not forces them) but something happens where they have to leave for their own safety. Even then, sometimes they won’t. Or someone literally drags them out of there. Otherwise, they just won’t leave sometimes. The subconscious mind says this is safe. That’s all we know.
Christine: I’ve worked with clients who are like that, doing the healing work that I do. They are used to certain situations. They won’t. It’s hard for them to change it. Some of them—I have one that really, really wants to heal, and she’s healing—and I have one that’s a little bit harder. She’s so stuck in her subconscious that it’s just hard.
Brandon: Right. In my own life, I’m thinking back to college. This stuff stems a lot of times from self-sabotaging behavior. In my own life, I’ve had circumstances where I knew I should be studying, doing the work for class, and that kind of stuff…
Christine: Especially your last year of college.
Brandon: Right. At Duquesne, too. That was before I knew you, at Duquesne University. I just hit this wall. I don’t know if it was depression or what it was. I just couldn’t do it. It just felt so threatening to my subconscious that it wouldn’t let me go there. People don’t understand this sometimes: how powerful the subconscious is. People just say, “You just need to buckle down and do the work.”
Christine: No. It doesn’t work like that.
Brandon: “Get with the program,” right? I’m like, “You don’t understand mental issues. You can’t. It literally feels like you’re ramming your head against a brick wall over and over and over again.” You know that you should be doing something, and that just adds to the guilt because you can’t do it.
Christine: Habits are an example of that. People that smoke and want to quit—they’ve tried and tried and tried. They know they should quit, but they just can’t do it. That’s why.
Justin: Yes, and I’ve met clients over the years that were like that, too—in situations where they really should change, and they just don’t.
Why the Subconscious Mind Holds on to Bad Habits
Brandon: Because the subconscious mind feels safe in that situation, it just won’t change. This is why you have bad habits. Like Christine said, you have a situation where you know you should do something different, but that option just doesn’t feel safe to you. This is why you have these commercials about smokers with lung cancer and throat problems where they can barely speak.
Christine: A trach. They have a trach.
Brandon: Raspy voice. They think that’s going to help. It might help some, but I can promise it doesn’t help a lot of people, because most people….It’s not that they don’t quit because they don’t know the risks. Give me a break. They have the warnings on every pack of cigarettes.
Christine: And you learn it in school from a young age.
Brandon: It’s everywhere. People don’t smoke because they don’t realize the risks. People smoke because their subconscious mind is programmed to smoke.
Justin: Also, I know some of us with disabilities who don’t have jobs and have gone years without a job—it actually feels safer to just not have one. It’s actually self-sabotage.
Brandon: I’m dealing with this now. I’m close to the point where we should be able to get off of SSI soon. I’ll tell you, it’s terrifying. It’s that safety net. It’s that safety net. Sighted people don’t have this, so you might not be able to understand this. If stuff goes wrong, you have that safety net. It’ll get you. It’ll save you if you fall. Relying on just yourself—that’s scary. That’s something we’re dealing with, especially me because I work with the money. That’s one of my major goals: getting off of SSI.
Justin: That’s one of mine, too.
Brandon: That’s a big thing. Psychologically speaking, it’s a big thing. What’s life like without having SSI? I’m sure you can relate to that, Justin.
Justin: I used to not have it for six plus years, when I was working. Or seven. I know what it’s like without it. I’d rather not have it.
Brandon: I’d rather not have it, too. [laughs] Subconsciously, it’s like…
Justin: My goal is to get off of it, but I’m not stressed out over it. I’m just going to work my way off of it. Since I’ve experienced being off of it before, it’s okay. I see what you mean. It’s like, “I could just hang out here at a certain level, be comfortable, and know that I will always have at least this much coming in.” It’s a backbone, and you can just do your thing.
Brandon: I wouldn’t say that’s a temptation, because I do want to get off of it—very much so. But the subconscious, on the other hand…
Christine: It used to be a temptation. It used to be.
Brandon: The subconscious is saying, “What if things don’t work out? That’s a big thing for blind people and for any kind of person with disabilities that receives some kind of government assistance. You’re working to get off of it and things like that. It’s scary. I’m sure it’s the same for people on unemployment or welfare or things like that. It’s scary to try to change that situation. Now, Justin, you can access that vibration because you’ve been there. For me, I got it from day one, pretty much—even before I was 18, my mother got it for me. Once I turned 18, I started getting it. I don’t know that feeling off-hand. I can imagine it, which helps, but when you’ve experienced it, it’s a lot easier to go back to that point. You say, “I know what that’s like.”
Christine: I was 18 when I got it.
Brandon: It’s how everyone is. Did you get it as a child?
Christine: No. Well, if I did, I didn’t know about it. My mom helped me apply when I was 18.
Brandon: It just automatically switched over to me when I was 18, I think.
The Law of Attraction Isn’t Just About Feeling Good
Brandon: That’s hard. The subconscious mind is all about comfort. Even if it’s something that you really want, it won’t do it if it feels unsafe about that option. That’s one thing that you really need to realize. This stuff is so nuanced because (as I keep saying—I’m sorry to beat a dead horse) the law of attraction is not just feeling good. It’s not feeling good. That helps with communicating to your subconscious. That’s part of the process. It’s not feeling good—it’s feeling safe. I wish I could put that on repeat for about two hours and let that be the whole podcast.
Christine: I know! People with PTSD, that’s why they have it. They don’t feel safe anymore.
Brandon: It’s not about feeling good. It’s about feeling safe. It’s about feeling familiar. It’s about being in your comfort zone. That is your homeostasis. That is your point of homeostasis, that point when you feel most comfortable. If you want to make more money and you’re currently making $1500 a month, that’s your point of homeostasis.
Let’s say one day you get a windfall, and you suddenly have $2000 a month. Whether you know it or not, your subconscious is uncomfortable. Then you go out and you buy all this frivolous stuff, and you’re right back where you started. Where did all that money go? Or you win a minor lottery and get a few thousand dollars. Pretty soon it’s gone. You don’t do anything substantive with it. It’s just gone.
Or, on the other end, if in one month you make under what you’re supposed to make….Let’s say you make $1200 instead of $1500. Your subconscious is kicking into gear to get you back into homeostasis. It’s trying to figure out how to make up that difference because it’s not comfortable there. It works on both ends. If you make too much, it will reduce it. If you make too little, it’ll raise it up. That’s how it works. That’s its homeostasis.
You have this margin of safety, so to speak. A margin of error, you could say. Only so many percentage points on either side of what you’re currently making. So, $1500—$1300 to $1700, you’re feeling pretty good. Make too much over or under that, and your subconscious mind is kicking into gear trying to return you back to your homeostasis point. That’s how this works.
The Principle of Homeostasis in Relationships
Brandon: For relationships, if you’re single (I don’t care how much you say you want a relationship), being single is your point of homeostasis.
Christine: Of course.
Brandon: That’s your comfort zone. It’s scary. Let me tell you. Christine will attest to this. It’s scary to get into a relationship.
Christine: Yes, it is.
Brandon: It’s hard work. I don’t mean to scare off people, but it’s hard work! You have to merge two people together who have totally different living habits, totally different ways of living, different ways of communicating.
Justin: Do you mean moving in is hard work, or just the relationship in general?
Brandon: Even the relationship. Each stage of it is progressively—you’re mixing together more and more and more.
Justin: Yes, you are.
Brandon: If you see each other once a week, you can go pretty safely for a while. My mother’s like this. [laughs] She’s such an independent woman. She used to say, “I just want a weekend boyfriend.” [laughs] I don’t know if it quite works like that.
Justin: It could work like that.
Brandon: She’d get into these relationships, and the guy would want commitment. He would want her to come up all the time and want her to come over all the time. She’d feel smothered, and then she’d end the relationship. Pretty soon she’d want another relationship. [laughs] “I just want a weekend boyfriend!”
It’s hard. If you see each other once a week, it’s pretty easy. You don’t really have to do too much. But once it gets more than that, it’s like, “Now we have to deal with each other.”
Christine: Compromising with each other.
Brandon: Not just when we’re feeling romantic or when we go out to dinner on dates and things like that. We have to deal with each other as real people. That’s hard.
Christine: There are some days where your partner or husband or spouse will drive you up a wall, and you just want to strangle them, figuratively. You know what I mean.
Brandon: This is your homeostasis point. If you’re single, that’s your homeostasis point. That is what feels normal to you. It’s hard to shift that. If you get a relationship, you’re going to want to go back to your previous habits. Any person who is in a relationship, they’ll start to try to live differently to please the other person. It won’t last. Eventually, they’ll go back to who they are. They’ll go back to their previous habits.
Christine: That’s what happened.
Justin: Yes, I wouldn’t live differently, much. Just enough to compromise, because it doesn’t work.
Brandon: It doesn’t work.
Justin: You’re just going to fall right back to normal.
The Principle of Homeostasis Applies to All Manifestations
Brandon: This comfort zone works with relationships—with anything. If you’re trying to lose weight, you have a certain way of eating. You have a certain way of living. You have a certain way of doing things and a certain lifestyle. Try to change that too fast, or really at all, and your subconscious mind is going to fight against you. Your body wants to stay where it is. It’s programmed to do so because it works. You’re alive. Because you’re alive, that means it worked. You survived.
Justin: Subconscious or unconscious? Which one?
Brandon: Well, both. That’s a distinction that I make in The Art of Reality Creation.
Justin: Yes, I know. I noticed that.
Brandon: The unconscious is really the one that has to do with survival. The subconscious is more the emotional stuff.
Brandon: It’s the unconscious.
Justin: I got you.
Brandon: I’ve discussed that difference a little bit in the blog, but it’s mostly something you’ll learn (for everyone else) if you join The Art of Reality Creation course.
Justin: Okay. I just was making sure. You’re right. It wants to be safe. It will even do it for manifestations. If you have a manifestation where you want to do something, it will actually lower goals. If you try to take a goal that immediately might be better, but doesn’t work for the long haul as well, your subconscious will actually not want to do it. It will go, “Okay, if we work a second job, we’re not going to be able to work two jobs and go to school. If you still want to get that masters degree….” It’s not just mental. You get this funny feeling, and you know. People forcing it doesn’t work that well, usually.
Brandon: Right, right.
Justin: You can use it as a sweet spot holder for higher goals. It’s actually pretty neat if you pick up on it.
Brandon: Right. That is how the subconscious is. Again, just to repeat this over and over again, it’s not about feeling good. It’s about feeling safe.
Justin: Feeling safe! That’s right.
Brandon: Feeling safe, that is the trick.
Tension: The Primary Driver Behind the Law of Attraction
Brandon: That brings me to my next point. What did I say last week? I said the law of attraction (similar point) has a way to change, the way to manifest something new. It’s not primarily (I’m not saying “at all”) about feeling good. What’s the major driver behind the law of attraction that I said?
Brandon: No, tension.
Christine: Oh, tension.
Justin: The major driver is tension. Tension like on an iron wire or a string.
Brandon: Exactly. Tension is that driver. Here’s the thing. As long as you feel safe, you’ll never change. How many people have smoked for decades? It feels good to them. They might, in one part of their mind, say, “I should probably stop.” But they keep going on and on and on and on, and it feels pretty good. According to what most people would say, it feels good and they kind of have the desire that maybe they should stop, so they’ll stop. No, they won’t.
Justin: No, they have to decide that on a deep level.
Brandon: Right, because it feels safe to smoke. Your body will do what feels safe. Feeling safe is what defines your reality. If it feels safer to smoke than to not smoke, you’re going to smoke. If it feels safer to drink alcohol than to not to, you’re going to drink alcohol. If you feel safer spending money that you probably shouldn’t spend, you’re going to spend it.
Christine: We used to do that.
Brandon: Yes. You’re going to spend it. That’s what it is. It’s not about feeling good. It’s about feeling safe. The question is, how do you change it? Obviously we don’t want to just say, “You’re doomed to be wherever you are.” [laughs]
Justin: You’re doomed.
Brandon: Or do we? [laughs]
Christine: You’re horrible. [laughs]
Brandon: I am pretty horrible.
How do you change it? How do you change where you feel safe? For this, I want to use a metaphor. I want you to imagine a pendulum. A pendulum is a perfect metaphor for this homeostasis point because a pendulum has a point where it is still and doesn’t move. It has that point where it is still. As long as it’s there, it will stay there forever. If you move it to one direction, it’s going to seek to return to the center. It will swing too far to the other side at first. Then it will swing to the other side. Then it will swing to the other side. It will be less and less and less until it stops in the center. Right?
Christine and Justin: Yes.
Brandon: That’s like homeostasis. If you try to change something, you’re moving that pendulum. All you’re doing is swinging it to the side. Once you let go, it’s going to swing to the other side. You get money through the lottery or a windfall, and then you spend it all. The pendulum is on the other side. Maybe you get some more money, and then you spend it all. Eventually you’re going to be right back in the middle. That’s the pendulum.
The question isn’t how to change that. You’re not trying to move the pendulum to one side or the other. Trying to swing it to one side or the other will just cause it to swing the other way. You’re going to get backlash from that. It’s just going to go against you because the more off-center you go, the more resistance there is from the pendulum. If you have a really big arc, it’s going to swing way the other way. [laughs] You don’t want that.
People will try to do this. Let’s say losing weight. They’ll go on this really strict diet regime. They’ll lose a whole ton of weight and it’s great. Then they gain back even more. They get it all back plus some. I’ve certainly done that. [laughs]
If you try to smoke—if you try to quit smoking…
Christine: [laughs] “If you try to smoke.”
Brandon: If you are a smoker, you try to quit smoking. You’re really strict about it. You try to do it cold turkey or something. Eventually you give in and start doing it more than before, because it’s like, “Oh my gosh, this stuff is so great.” I’m not a smoker, so I wouldn’t know. [laughs] My mother tried to quit for years.
Christine: She finally did.
Brandon: Well, sort of. Now she’s on that vapor stuff.
Trying to move too far in one direction is just going to create a swing back in the other direction. It’s the pendulum effect. You don’t want that.
Moving Your Point of Homeostasis
Brandon: So the question isn’t “How can I get this pendulum to move over to the left a little bit or a lot?”, because it’s just going to swing back the other way when you’re not looking, when you’re not holding it anymore, when you’ve let go, when your guard is down. It’s going to go the other way. So that’s not the question.
You have to move its center point. You have to move its point of stillness. Make sense? Christine gets it. [laughs]
Christine: I like that.
Justin: Take the pendulum and move the point of stillness itself.
Brandon: You have to move where the center is. Then, when it swings, it’s going to be above where you were before, so it’s all good.
Christine: A portable pendulum.
Brandon: A portable pendulum. They’re all portable. If you have a non-portable pendulum, that’s something else. That’s not a pendulum.
Christine: I didn’t mean it like that. Never mind.
Justin: That’s a dangerous pendulum to use. Yes or no answers. Well, the building was flattened on the right side, so that’s a yes.
Christine: I just embarrassed myself. Oh, well.
Brandon: A non-portable pendulum.
Christine: Well, the point is portable. The point of center….I don’t know.
Justin: You’re just changing that center point, that still point.
Brandon: Right. You’re changing where the still point is. That’s what you have to do.
Translating this back into our goals, if you’re making $1500 a month right now, it’s not about “How can I make $2000 this month?” That may seem to be the issue, but if you do that, you’ll get it, and then next month you’re right back down. You’ve spent the extra. You’ve bought something new that you didn’t really need, or a large bill came through that you weren’t expecting. Something happens. We’ve all had this. All of us who work on money issues, we’ve all had this. You have that windfall or that extra, and then it gets spent on who-the-heck-knows-what.
That’s not the question. That’s just the pendulum. You swung it $500 up, and now it’s going to go the other way. It might not be exactly $500 down, but it’s going to be swinging the other direction so that you return to your point of homeostasis, your still point.
The question is not how to swing it in one direction because you can’t maintain that forever. The question is how to make $2000 a month be your still point.
Christine: I love it.
Brandon: How do you make that your new normal, your new safety? You feel safe not when you make $1500 anymore, but when you make $2000. That’s the question. Again, you are moving the still point. You are moving that point of homeostasis to something else.
Relationships, again: if you’re single, the question isn’t “How can I meet a whole bunch of people?” The question is, “How can I be more comfortable in a relationship?” How can that be my new normal? How can that feel safer to me than to be alone and single? The solution isn’t desperation, by the way. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying you have to raise your comfort zone so that it’s higher than where you were. If you move that comfort zone, your subconscious mind will do the rest.
Christine: So it’s basically using the tension to go up there, right?
Brandon: Right. That is exactly it.
Move Your Point of Homeostasis Before Trying to Manifest
Brandon: I want you to imagine a second. I’m going to try to describe a visual without visuals. [laughs] I’m literally miming this, so just imagine that. [laughs]
Christine: You would.
Brandon: If you had x-ray vision, and you could see all the way to Olean, New York? That’s where I am currently.
If you take the end of the pendulum that you hold in your hand, and it’s still, and the other end, you keep that where it is. So the bottom end of it (where the crystal is), if you hold that, and you move the top, what happens when you let go of the bottom?
Christine and Justin: It swings.
Brandon: And where is going to be its new point?
Christine: In the middle?
Brandon: Right, in the new location.
Justin: Yes, a new location where you hold it to the right…
Brandon: If you hold it in its current position, but you move the part you’re holding up top, when it swings, it’s going to move. It’s going to return to a new location. That’s its new still point.
Here’s what I’m trying to say: when you moved it, it created tension. It can’t maintain that anymore. If you tried to move the bottom first—if you tried to move the manifestation before you moved the comfort zone—then it’s just going to swing back. But if you move the comfort zone and still point first, then it will recalibrate to that new location. I’m translating that. [laughs] It was good in my head.
Justin: I’ve got you.
Brandon: Good. I don’t know if anyone else did.
Justin: You just want to basically move the top part first, like your subconscious.
Brandon: Exactly. If you imagine the top part being your subconscious mind and the bottom part being what’s out there in reality, you’re moving the top and the bottom follows. But if you try to move the bottom first (even through law of attraction) but you don’t change the comfort zone, it’s just going to come right back.
Christine: So you swing it from the top, from what you hold on to, right?
Brandon: Exactly. That’s what you move. Basically, if $1500 is my still point (point of homeostasis), I don’t try to manifest right away $2000. It’s not that I’m trying to manifest that. It looks like that, yes. But it’s not “I’m going to visualize this. I’m going to feel good about it, blah blah blah.” No. I’m going to make $2000 my new point of homeostasis. That’s where I feel safe now. Then, when I let go of that, and I’m still at $1500, now there’s that gap. Guess what the subconscious does when there’s a gap? It fills it in.
Justin: It finds a way to fill it in.
Brandon: It finds a way to fill it in. That’s that structural tension, that creative tension that we’ve talked about since last October or something. If you change the vision of what you want—if you change that point of comfort—I don’t feel comfortable or safe until I’m at this new point. Then you let go. Then your subconscious mind says, “Oh! Now I have to swing over here to feel safe. Okay!” Done. Done. Simple. You just have to understand the mechanics of it. That’s what it is.
Justin: So you’re saying that when you do it, you have to move your subconscious first. That would be what you want to think about. When you’re in meditation about it, you actually want to imagine it and have it feel normal. Imagine all the things you’d do with it.
Brandon: What I like to call it, you want to create a new normal. Create a new normal. Don’t create a new “exciting.” Guess what? Exciting is that pendulum on the upswing.
Justin: That’s like just luck.
Brandon: Exciting is the pendulum moving up. Guess what? Then it has to move down again. In the middle, it doesn’t feel exciting. In the middle, it feels normal. It feels ordinary. It feels safe. You’re not creating a new exciting. Yes, initially it will be exciting, but that’s not your goal. When they say to feel excited about your desire, no. Maybe at first. But no. You want to feel normal about your desire. You want to create a new normal. You want to make it so that when you look at your desire, you say, “Oh, that’s easy. That’s what life should be like.” Not in a desperate way but in a “of course” sort of way. Then you look at your current reality. Why aren’t I there yet? Again, not desperate, but “that’s normal, but this is where I am now.”
Justin: You almost want to glide into it.
Brandon: You want to glide into it.
The Goal Should Feel Uncomfortable at First
Brandon: It’s just like what Robert Fritz says about creative tension. The key is the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Law of attraction people will try to close that gap. When there’s a gap, it feels uncomfortable. You want it to feel uncomfortable! If it doesn’t feel uncomfortable, you’re going to stay where you are! If it feels comfortable, your subconscious says, “Oh, cool. We can just stay here. I’m good. Everything’s cool.” If it feels uncomfortable, your subconscious mind says, “I don’t want this. I want it where it feels comfortable.”
I’ve said this before, you want that gap. You don’t want to drop your vision. You don’t want to pretend like you don’t really want it. That’s shutting down your goal. You don’t want that. You don’t want to sugarcoat where you are. You don’t want to say, “Ah, I’m really abundant already.” No! Yes, when you’re visualizing and journaling, sure. But when you return to everyday life, return to everyday life.
Justin: When you’re visualizing, you definitely want to do it. But everyday life, do your thing.
Brandon: When you return to everyday life, you don’t sugarcoat it. You don’t lie to yourself.
Justin: Absolutely not.
Brandon: About where you are. People will do this. People will try to act as if all the time. “I’m a millionaire.”
Justin: No, you’re not.
Brandon: No, you’re not. Embrace that. No, you’re not. If your subconscious mind thinks you are, why would it move? Tension is the driver because when you let go of that pendulum and it has a new still point, it has to swing back to that new still point. Tension is what makes it move. Tension is what brings it back to the center.
Justin: An interesting thing that you point out is that a lot of people say to act like and feel like you’re a millionaire all day. Live like a millionaire. I’ve always thought it was a bad idea. It sounded like not the way to go for me. Granted, during meditation or whatever when you’re visualizing and trying to feel it, feel like a millionaire during the meditation process.
Brandon: Exactly. It’s not something you do all day. It’s just something you do some of the time during that five or ten minutes you’re visualizing. Feel like a millionaire. Feel abundant, feel rich. Fine.
Justin: Then you journal. You can even imagine giving away the money.
Brandon: When I journal, I completely enter that space.
Christine: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: I am that person. I am recounting stories of things that haven’t happened yet because they’re in my visualization.
Justin: Or you can imagine giving money away to people, whatever you want to do. But that will really get you in trouble throughout most of the rest of the day. You will. That is not a good way to go about that. You allow the universe to tell you when you make certain moves. I allow the universe to tell me when it was time—I think it was Archangel Raphael—to just stop taking Uber to and from work. I was like, “Okay, you work the transportation out.” It has.
Brandon: It’s a confusing point for people. I don’t know why. There’s such misinformation. I know I beat the dead horse here, but it just has to be said over and over and over and over again. [laughs] It just does. People act as if all the time, and that’s so unhealthy.
Christine: You have to be in reality.
Brandon: You have to realize who you are and where you are.
Christine: I think a big one is not to be ashamed of where you are. I work with someone and that’s how she is. I keep telling her, “It’s just where you are. It’s okay. You can change it.”
Justin: Even the shame part is okay if you just accept the shame. I’ll admit, I’ve got some of that. I should be farther. You know what? I’m here, right here right now, shame and all, so it does not matter. Simply execute whatever’s in front of you.
Brandon: That brings up another good point. Just because you don’t like where you are doesn’t mean you don’t feel safe there. It might feel familiar, but you could still hate it. Think of the job that you hate that you can’t quit because you feel too unsafe if you do. It feels scary. I’m not telling you to be unhappy with where you are. I’m not saying that. I’m saying to create a new normal. Create a new normal. Accept where you are, yes, but create a new normal so that this is not normal anymore. This is below where you want to be. People are afraid to do that. “I have to totally accept everything and be okay with what is.” Yes, to some extent, but you need to create a new normal, or it won’t move. It’s a very fine line.
Justin: This is almost where the pivot comes in. You accept where you are. You can do it and then immediately start changing.
Brandon: Exactly. You have to create a new normal and let your subconscious mind do the rest. It’s really so easy once you do that, because the subconscious mind will do that. As long as you feel the new normal, that’s what the subconscious mind does. It fills in the rest. It swings the pendulum back to the still point. That’s what it does. That’s what it does.
You have to work on changing the point of homeostasis, changing what feels safe and familiar to you, creating a new normal. If $1500 feels normal right now but you want more, you have to make $2000 a month normal. If you don’t, you won’t move.
Excitement Should Only Be Temporary
Brandon: If you feel excited about $2000, it’s going to leave again. How many people complain about getting their manifestation and then it leaves?
Christine: Oh, yeah.
Brandon: They lose it. “I had it, and then I lost it.” Well, because you got too excited. What did I say a few weeks ago about when you get too excited about a manifestation? Remember that, Justin? We had this whole debate about it.
Justin: It can slip through your fingers.
Brandon: Right. Get too excited about it. I’m not saying it can’t happen. We had this whole debate in the comments about that.
Christine: I don’t remember.
Brandon: Well, you don’t check the comments.
Justin: I remember this debate.
Brandon: We had this whole debate in the comments. “I felt excited before and I’ve gotten stuff.”
People define “excitement” as all sorts of different things. If you get too excited, if you feel like this is above normal or literally extraordinary, then it won’t last unless you do a really quick catch-up subconsciously.
Justin: You could enjoy it. You can feel good. You could even feel great about it. What you don’t want is this nervous excited energy. I would tell people, if you really feel like you have to do that, do it at the very beginning of your manifestation. Get that out of the way. You get it out of the way. That will actually help drive it. Then the rest of it is like maintenance.
Brandon: That’s like what we talked about in last week’s The Unseen World podcast and the collective planets, Jupiter versus Saturn. Jupiter is that nice, inspiring, passionate, expansive energy where we get really excited about it. Then you have to bring it down to earth. You have to ground it. That’s Saturn.
Justin: Saturn is a hardworking man.
Brandon: We don’t want to do that part. I just want to stay in the inspiring. I just want to feel this good all the time and be excited all the time. You can’t. You can’t. You have to make it feel normal. I’m not saying you’re not going to feel excited. I’m saying those emotions come and go. Your goal is going to feel normal. Think about a week after your goal, two weeks after your goal, a month after your goal. Do you think you’re going to be just as excited about it? No. I promise you you won’t. I guarantee it.
Justin: You’ll have a deep joy. It’s going to feel like a full-bodied joy. It actually feels better than excitement.
Brandon: It’s a deeper, more spiritual thing. It’s not going to be excitement. It’s not going to be this ecstatic bouncing off the walls excitement where you’re so excited about it and can’t believe you got it. That will be there at first. Then it dies away because now it’s normal.
If you get that big mansion or beach house or something like that, and that’s your dream house, the first day you wake up there, I’m sure you’re going to be like, “Oh my gosh! I can’t believe this!” If you live there a year, “This is awesome, but I’m not over the moon about it.” [laughs]
Christine: It’s just like the people who buy hot tubs. They think they’re going to use them. They use them for the first two days. Then they’re like, “Oh, whatever. It’s here.”
Brandon: That was the most random example ever. [laughs] I mean, it’s true.
Justin: Man, that was random. Yes.
Brandon: That’s Christine. Where did it come from?
Christine: No, because I know people like that.
Justin: No, that’s a great example.
Brandon: That’s great. Just really random.
Christine: Don’t pick on me.
Brandon: It’s so easy, though. No, it’s totally true, though.
The Subconscious Mind Will Fill in the Gap
Brandon: You have to create a new normal, a new sense of normal, a new point of homeostasis. That’s what you have to do. Once you create that new normal, your subconscious mind will fill in the gap. It has to fill in the gap because where you are isn’t normal or familiar anymore. Now I want to be over there. It has to do that. That is what this stuff is all about. You have your comfort zone (whatever area of life it is—it can apply to anything: finances, relationships, health, whatever). Feeling good might swing the pendulum. It will swing the pendulum. This is why people get these short-term successes. “Oh, I got this huge thing.”
Justin: You’ve got to ground it.
Brandon: Feeling good, fine. But that’s just part of the equation. That actually doesn’t do the main part of the work. The main part of the work is getting that goal to the point of feeling normal. Yes, like Justin said, the first few days you’re going to feel amazing about the goal when you think about it and visualize it. I’m not asking you to shut that down. Let that energy flow just like anything else. Once that energy flows, what’s going to be left is “That’s normal.” And that’s what you want.
Justin: Also, when you say you’re at goal, if you talk about it, it needs to feel normal. If you say, “I make,” or let’s use a hot tub, “I got a hot tub in my house,” it needs to feel normal. It shouldn’t provoke a reaction. I guess it evokes a “Man, it’s really nice to have a hot tub” reaction. It feels good to have a hot tub, but it doesn’t evoke excitement. On the ripple on the tension wire, it really shouldn’t even move it. It should be normal. It’s going to move it at first before you get it. “I’m getting a hot tub!” That’s fine. Then you manifest it a little bit and relax and let the excitement go. A month or two later, when you think about it, it’s like, “Man, I’ve got a hot tub. That’s cool.”
Brandon: That’s what it’s all about. You set a new comfort zone and a new point of homeostasis. We’ve called it a million names today. It’s just to point out what this is. Create a new normal, whatever. That’s what you’re doing. Then you let it go. Your subconscious will feel that tension. This is the creative tension that I’ve talked about over and over and over again. Fill in that gap. That’s what you have to do.
It’s about the tension of this not being over there where you want to be, where you feel familiar and safe and normal. When over there is normal and not over here, that will create tension. Your subconscious mind will find the fastest, most efficient way of getting over there. It has to. As long as over there just feels so extraordinary and exciting and amazing, no. That’s just the pendulum swinging.
You might forcibly manifest it, but it won’t last unless you really catch up and really quickly make it normal again, like these lottery winners. They get it, but then six months or a year later, it’s all gone. What’s the change in lifestyle again? None. Maybe they have a few nicer things and whatnot, but now you’re back to where you were. What was the point? That’s what happens. That’s the pendulum swinging. You don’t want that. You want to change your point of homeostasis. You want to change what feels normal to you. I think that’s it.
That was a great discussion. I know I’ve really hammered in these points today. I think it’s frustrating, sometimes. I’m on a lot of law of attraction forums, and I see a lot of people talking about the law of attraction. You wouldn’t believe the misconceptions I see about it, either from skeptics who are making fun of it or from people who want to succeed at it but aren’t. You look at it and say, “I can see why.” Or people who are trying to teach it. I just want to get this across. It’s not about feeling good. It’s about feeling safe. That’s what defines where reality will flow, where universal energy will flow, where it feels safe, where it feels familiar, where it feels normal, where it feels at center. That’s where energy will flow. That’s where reality will go. That’s how all of this works.
I hope that’s clear. I tried to give a lot of metaphors and a lot of examples. It’s complicated stuff. It’s a lot different. It’s not a little different. It’s a lot different. I hope that clarifies things. I enjoyed this discussion immensely. I thought it was really good. I wanted to do this one soon, so I thought this was a great place to have this discussion. I always love these podcasts because I feel like we can go a lot deeper than with a blog post. We can go not as long as we want to. We can’t go three hours or something.
Christine: You would love to.
Brandon: I would do it. I would sit here for eight hours and talk. [laughs] I think people would get bored eventually. That’s how it is. I hope everyone enjoyed this topic. Of course, if you would like to ask questions about this or just read the transcript or leave a comment, you can head over to cocreationcoaching.org/create015.
If you would like to rate, review, or subscribe to us on iTunes, you can go to cocreationcoaching.org/createitunes and it will direct you there. Again, I hope that everyone enjoyed this. I hope you have a great weekend. I am Brandon Olivares.
Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
Justin: I’m Justin Williams.
Brandon: Anything is possible!
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