You’re aware already that your limiting beliefs are blocking the way to greater success with the law of attraction. You know that the key to greater success is to release these subconscious beliefs, clearing the way for your goal to manifest in your reality.
But the question is, where exactly do these beliefs come from? And, possibly more importantly, How do you prevent yourself from taking on new beliefs?
How You Adopt Limiting Beliefs
The truth is, a lot of these limiting beliefs come from others.
It is possible that certain limiting beliefs may have been adopted from traumatic experiences you yourself had. Perhaps you got your heart broken once, so you’re hesitant to fall in love again.
But the strongest beliefs—the ones that really stick with us, sometimes for a lifetime—are the ones we take on from others.
For instance, as a child, you overhear your parents complaining about how hard money is to come by. They might say that life is unfair, and no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough to get ahead in life.
As a child, you don’t know better. Whatever your parents say, you simply take on as fact. If they say money is hard to earn, then it must be so.
Of course, they don’t just say it once. It’s repeated again and again throughout your childhood. With each repetition, it gets that much more ingrained in your subconscious mind.
So, you grow up, and you carry this subconscious program along with you, which says that money is hard to earn. Subconscious programs seem like fact to us, so most don’t even know that they could challenge it.
And so, you start to create the same kind of life as your parents. Maybe you have a different job, in a different field, but the patterns are all the same.
Pretty soon, you’re passing the same program on to your children. Maybe you even pass it on to an easily influenced friend when they are highly suggestible.
It’s easier to do than you think. Perhaps your friend says she has been having some money issues. And you say, “Oh, that’s life. You can just never get ahead, no matter what you do.” And your friend innocently agrees.
Due to her own stress, she’s in a highly suggestible state. Her subconscious mind goes to work parsing what you said, and if it doesn’t conflict with her own beliefs, then she’ll start to take it on as her own.
However it happens, the virus has been passed on.
Have You Caught the Virus?
I know this might sound rather hyperbolic, to call such limiting beliefs a virus.
But think about it. A virus infects its host. It makes it hard to fight off. And, it tries to find a way to spread itself to a new host.
It’s a wonderful analogy for limiting beliefs. Once they take hold, they begin to create reality in such a way that validate their existence. The “money is hard to earn” belief makes money actually hard to earn, so it seems like the truth. And the more you experience it in outer reality, the more you are convinced of its truthfulness.
This is why limiting beliefs can be so hard to root out. When you look around at life, it seems like you’re just reacting to the hand life has dealt you. It takes a tremendous amount of inner self-reflection to realize that life is as it is, because of the way you see it.
Once you start to see it as true, you begin to share it with others, who may very well take it on themselves.
A virus is most often caught by those with weakened immune systems, such as children. Your “immune system”, in this case, is your subconscious defense against such beliefs. That is, if you already have a strong belief that money is actually easy to earn, and takes very little effort to do so, then you’re going to be immune to such a lack virus.
But for a child who has no such beliefs to fall back on, or an adult who might not have such a strong abundance program, it’ll be much easier for them to adopt this new limiting belief as their own.
Society Seeks to Spread Its “Truths”
Rather I should say, segments of society seek to spread their own “truths”. If you’re born into a poor family, it’s that much easier to remain poor, because they are going to spread this programming to you as well. As I said, once we grow up, we’re highly unlikely to question our own limiting beliefs, especially when they reach all the way into childhood.
The same is true for a wealthy family. Children of wealthy families tend to be wealthy themselves, not only because of large inheritances and all that, but also because they have adopted the “truth” of easy abundance.
The subconscious mind will take on either belief just as easily, whether it is one of lack or one of abundance.
I’m using the example of money, but this works for any belief.
I’ll give an example of my own, which is rather personal.
As a child, I witnessed my family constantly equating beauty with being thin. I would hear my aunt say, “Oh, I’m disgusting! I’ve gained 5 lb.”
So, I started to believe that if I gained weight, even as little as 5 lb., it meant that I was disgusting.
Due to this, I had years and years of self-worth and self-hatred issues, because it was very hard for me to control my weight.
After I met Christine, and eventually got married, I was able to heal a lot of that old programming. I now have more confidence than I ever have. It’s still not perfect, but it’s far better than it was 5 years ago.
It took a lot of inner self-reflection to see how this simple belief was affecting my entire outlook on life. I didn’t have the confidence to date for years, because I didn’t believe anyone would be interested in me. Christine had to virtually chase me down before I’d believe there was a chance.
Anyway, I share the above to illustrate how limiting beliefs, taught to us from others, can affect our lives in the long-term.
How to Be Rid of the Virus
Now, if you know me, you know that I’m all about empowerment. I’m not in the least saying that you are powerless against such “truths”.
I’m simply saying that when someone doesn’t know better, these limiting beliefs integrate themselves seamlessly into their life.
I’ve had clients who have been shocked at the limiting beliefs we’ve uncovered. They never realized that they even had this belief, let alone how much it was influencing their life, until it was unearthed in a spiritual coaching session.
But, by no means are you powerless against these beliefs. As I always say, you have absolute control over your own subconscious mind, and therefore over outer reality, too. This is very good news.
These limiting beliefs most often come up to the surface when you are working towards a big goal.
What you must realize is that when you feel resistance towards that goal, that resistance is just a manifestation of your own limiting beliefs.
So if your goal is to make $5,000 a month, and when thinking of that goal, you feel resistance, you must ask yourself, “Why do I believe that I can’t have this goal?”
Your subconscious mind will answer any question instantly, if you are open to listening. You might be shocked by the things you hear.
You might hear things like:
- “I don’t deserve making that much money.”
- “It’s greedy to want more money.”
- “It’s not spiritual to want money.”
- “Even if I get ahead temporarily, something bad will happen to offset the difference. Why try?”
These are all very common beliefs.
The fact is, you don’t have your goal yet because your subconscious mind believes it is dangerous somehow, due to your own limiting beliefs.
Think about it: if you truly believed that you didn’t deserve more money, why would you allow yourself to have more money?
Or, if you believed that something bad would happen after you start to get ahead, why would you even try?
Your subconscious mind is simply trying to protect you.
Of course, you don’t want its protection, at least not in this way. So, you have to convince your subconscious mind that these things aren’t true.
Let’s take radical acceptance as an example.
Let’s say you have a belief like, “I don’t deserve more money.”
Remember that your subconscious mind reacts on emotions. So, this belief is going to hold a high emotional charge. If you like, you can measure that emotional charge on a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is no emotional charge at all, and 10 is the highest amount.
Also rate it on a scale of believability, where 0 is you don’t believe it at all, and 10 is you take it as indisputable fact.
These ratings will help you to gauge your progress.
Now, repeat that belief to yourself. Sit with it, and allow the emotion to be as it is. Don’t try to change it, or do anything about it. Just let the energy flow.
You’ll soon feel a sense of relief and greater openness.
Now, repeat the belief again. Has its emotional charge diminished? What about its believability?
Just repeat the above steps as many times as it takes for these ratings to come down to 0.
It may not, in fact it probably will not, come down to 0 in a single day. You spent years building up this belief; it might take a bit of time, though not nearly as long, to release it all.
But, as you release it, you’ll see outer reality begin to shift effortlessly. This will happen, even without any purposeful intentions. Your desires were, to this moment, blocked up by this limiting belief. Once you start to release it, you’ll likely see big shifts in outer reality.
Just keep at it. Don’t worry that repeating the belief might reprogram it in your subconscious mind. It will only do so if you react emotionally to it. If you simply let it pass over you, it will not take root.
Avoid Taking On New Beliefs
You will also want to prevent yourself from taking on new limiting beliefs.
If you are in regular contact with your family, or with friends who are immersed in similar situations to what you are trying to separate yourself from, then the virus of their limiting beliefs will try to take root again.
I often tell the story of how I used to be self-conscious about wanting to be self-employed. My mothers “truth” was that you had to get a “real” job to be successful in life. My in-laws’ beliefs were the same, with the addition that you couldn’t be successful without a bachelor’s degree. Of course, I dropped out of college, so that was another point of contention.
Well, they tried to “reinfect” me, if you will, with these beliefs. And, I allowed myself to feel bad about it. I allowed myself to feel like a failure for being the way I was, and wanting what I wanted.
That is, until I decided that it was my life and my path. I realized that they were just speaking from their own personal truths, and their truths didn’t have to be my truths.
And now, they leave me alone about it. I’m immune to the “get a real job” virus, and the “you need a bachelor’s degree” virus. There’s nothing inside me anymore that believes that, and so it is not my truth.
As I said, the way to not take on the belief of another is to simply let it pass over you. Do not react emotionally to it. If you do so, then simply radically accept the emotional reaction, too, and it’ll work just the same.
You must be confident in the truths you wish to adopt. Because, your truths are the foundation of your outer reality. If you’re not careful about the truths that are implanted in your subconscious mind, then you are allowing others to create in your reality.
Don’t Spread the Virus
Be careful, too, not to spread your own viruses.
You have to remember that words are incredibly powerful. It’s not because of the words themselves, but because if the recipient of those words is not on guard, their subconscious mind could take on the meaning of those words literally.
Be careful of the things you say, even in jest. The subconscious mind doesn’t know when you are joking. What you say in jest could very well trigger an emotional reaction in another, and so their subconscious mind will take note.
When speaking to another, only speak what you’d like to be true.
For example, don’t say something like, “I hope you’re not laid off.” Instead say something like, “I’m sure your job is secure.” Or, don’t speak of it at all.
Or, if one of your friends is looking for a job, and complaining about not finding one yet, don’t say, “I know. The job market is so horrible right now.” Instead say, “I’m sure someone with your skills can find a job quickly.”
The former statement will just plant that seed of doubt that because the job market is bad, they shouldn’t be optimistic about finding a job. Meanwhile, the latter statement plants a seed of confidence in them, which will help them to create a reality where a job is easy to find.
Whether they believe your encouragement or not is on them. But, do your best not to spread these limiting beliefs to others.
I know that in Tuesday’s support call, I said not to be fake. And, that is entirely true.
I’m not telling you to lie. As I said in that call, if you have $2 in the bank, don’t tell yourself you’re a millionaire. It’s just not true.
This is more of what we call in NLP, reframing. It’s looking at reality with a different, but still valid, perspective.
The law of attraction is more about interpretation, rather than all-out manufacturing untruths. Your subconscious mind knows that you’re not a millionaire, if you’re not. But, it has no argument to the reframes used above. Those are about interpreting reality as it is, not pretending something is real that obviously is not.
I know this can seem pretty complicated. However, in just over two weeks, I’m offering a teleclass series that is going to go far beyond I ever could in a blog post.
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How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Have you been able to identify the limiting beliefs you’ve adopted in your own life? Were you surprised to learn how these beliefs have affected your outer reality? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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