So you're working on manifesting your goal. You've seen some great inner shifts, but that one friend, or, possibly even your family 😮 , asks about your progress.
“So, how's that coming along?” they ask. “Have you found a job yet?” “Have you found the right guy/girl?”
And, you're brought crashing right down to earth again.
What if you've not accomplished as much as you think you have, because, let's face it, there's just not any proof yet that you're getting anywhere?
Or, even if you know you are making progress, what do you say to the doubters in your life to get them to go away for a while and leave you alone?
I received this question recently, and thought it'd be a great topic, as I know a lot of people go through this. It just so happens, I have lots of advice for this one. 🙂
By the way, if you have your own questions, feel free to ask them here.
Don't Tell Them
Perhaps if you're asking this question, this boat has already sailed. But, I think this is good advice for future manifestations.
Just don't tell anyone.
There are certain goals I have that I don't even tell Christine about. Because, even though she has all the good intentions in the world, she will inevitably ask, “How's it going with that goal?” Or, “Maybe you'll manifest that soon.”
And, just those simple words can bring me right out of the good place I was in regard to that manifestation.
As I start to see evidence, I might tell her. Or, I might wait until it is completely manifested.
So, I'd recommend just not telling people about your goal, if that's at all an option.
Why is this?
Quite simply, because it can be too much pressure. Most of the manifestation process is within, and cannot be seen by others. So when they ask about it, we feel pressure to try to prove that we're doing well, when there's just no outer proof yet.
Recall last week's post about the 4 stages of a manifestation. I compared the manifestation process to planting a seed.
Most of the manifestation process is in the stage of germination. It's still developing its roots. It's still getting everything it needs to sprout above the soil.
If someone asks you how that seed's going, and you go and dig it up from the soil to check on it, you've just sabotaged its progress. It can still grow, but the more you disturb it, the less chance it has.
So it is with your manifestation. Most of the manifestational process will be completed within. If you tell someone about it while it's in that critical germination stage, and you feel the pressure to prove something, you're just not giving it the space it needs to grow.
Soon, it'll enter into the assimilation stage, and more and more evidence will be coming to you. This is the point when your belief is more sure, so you have less pressure to prove anything.
Because, ultimately, you're not really trying to prove it to them. You're trying to prove it to yourself, and that person asking you just reminds you of that fact.
Remember, as much as we all might hate this, detachment is vitally necessary for your manifestation to succeed. If someone asks you how it's going, and so now you have an attachment to it going well because of a want of approval, whether from yourself or from the other, now you're stifling the manifestation.
Only by detaching yourself, and honestly not caring either way whether it comes or not, can it truly start to grow into a physical manifestation.
On the other hand, if someone asks you about it, and you find that you do care after all, it's a great opportunity to clear up that attachment. So, if you find this happening, then go back and release the attachment to the manifestation showing up for you.
Why Are They Asking You?
This is the most important thing I want to point out. Remember that you are a creator of everything in your reality. You have 100% responsibility of all of it.
So, why are you manifesting someone asking you, and making you feel insecure about it?
No one can ever make you feel something that you weren't already feeling anyway.
I'm going to go ahead and repeat that, because it is extremely important:
No one can ever make you feel something that you weren't already feeling anyway.
Did someone ask you whether you've found a job yet, and it caused you to feel insecure?
Well, that wouldn't have been possible unless you were already holding insecurity within yourself.
I know, often it is repressed, and goes unnoticed by us. Why do you think the Universe points these things out via outer happenings?
But now you know. You are holding insecurity.
As I said in last week's post about the stages of a manifestation, see if you can get to the point of even thanking those people for pointing out what you needed to take a look at.
Because, as long as you are holding insecurity, you will keep getting insecurity. Your mind creates whatever you are holding within.
So, Clean It Up
Now, you have been made aware of your own insecurity and doubt.
Now you have two choices:
- Deny it and push it back down, or
- Accept it and let it go
Those are the only two choices.
Unfortunately, a lot of people choose the first option. They get defensive, and refuse to see that this was actually coming from themselves.
Or, they don't like the feeling, so they distract themselves by thinking about something else, or getting involved in physical action of some kind.
I've mentioned before, the Universe wants to help you. It knows your goal, and it is trying to tell you why your goal isn't here yet.
You didn't pay attention to the negative feelings that came up when thinking of that goal, so now it has to manifest on the outside.
Which is perfectly okay. You can't get this wrong.
But, now, use that opportunity to look back within yourself, and release that feeling that has come up to the surface.
Feelings need to be felt, accepted, and let go.
You won't manifest something bad just because you felt a bad feeling. You have to feel it so it can be process and removed from your subconscious mind.
Once you do, then your goal will feel all the more possible to you. It will have less resistance keeping it from manifesting in your life.
That's the process: keep letting go of these repressed feelings, and make room for the goal.
But, be courageous enough to take care of your own stuff. Be courageous enough to face it head-on and let it be here, and then effortlessly let it go.
Now, How to Deal with Others
Okay, so I've told you how to deal with this from within. Which, ultimately, is the most important.
But we still have that friend or family member who is asking. Now what do we tell them?
Well, if they are standing right in front of you here in the moment, tell them whatever feels best right now.
Depending on the person, I'd refrain from saying something too wishy-washy and feel-good. We can tell each other these platitudes, like, “I know it's on its way,” but honestly, how do these things sound to the outsider?
They are likely to think you are delusional, or not facing “reality”.
So tell them something noncommittal:
- “I'm working on it.”
- “I have an interview tomorrow.”
- “I've been looking for openings.”
These are all job examples, because I think they're the most common for this type of situation. But if someone's asking you about your love life, then say something like:
- “I'm just waiting for the right person.”
- “I've been looking.”
- “He/she will come when it's the right time.”
As an aside, ever notice platitudes like some of the above are more acceptable when it comes to relationships? But usually, it seems we need to be more pragmatic when it comes to money.
Anyway, say anything you need to in order to get them to leave you alone for the moment.
But after the encounter is over, do some cleanup work on it, as I've discussed above.
In particular, here are questions you want to ask yourself:
- “Why did I manifest this?”
- “What did it cause me to feel?”
- “Why am I hanging on to this feeling?”
Do this not in a spirit of interrogating yourself, but simply exploring to discover the truth. Sometimes I imagine manifestation work to be akin to a surgeon performing surgery. Whatever is found is not judged as bad or wrong, but simply removed or altered so that the system can perform properly.
You're doing surgery on your own subconscious mind. You're removing all the stuff that's not in alignment with the kind of life you want to live. You don't judge it as bad, but simply let it come up so it can be released, allowing your mind to become clearer and more productive.
So, after you've discovered the feeling, just see if you can allow it to be here, just for now. And if you can do that, just see if you could let it go.
Once you are to a place of detachment, visualize that same encounter, but now instead of a feeling of insecurity or doubt, imagine coming to it with a feeling of freedom and detachment.
If your mind tries to figure out what you would say, just let go of that. That still shows a bit of attachment.
But, simply imagine the situation, and imagine how you might react. This can give you the confidence for future encounters.
- Friend: “So, how's the job search going?”
- You: “You know, nothing yet, but it's okay. I'm sure something will come along soon.”
Remember, it's not the words themselves. It's the energy behind the words that matters. You can't just copy the words above and hope to have a good result. You have to get to the place where these words, or words like them, are natural to say—where you really don't care what happens, and just have the confidence that things will work out.
Do the inner work first, and then watch as outer reality changes itself to match your new mindset. You can't fake this. It has to be a real, authentic inner shift.
How About You?
Now it's your turn. Have you dealt with a situation like this, where someone questioned your progress? If so, how did you handle it? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.