In this webinar, we discussed the 12 ways your big manifestations are getting stuck, and how you can start making progress immediately.
- Study on happiness set points: A Classic Psychology Study on Why Winning the Lottery Won’t Make You Happier
- Video on believing you are enough: The Biggest Disease Affecting Humanity: “I’m Not Enough” by Marisa Peer
Topics Discussed in This Webinar
- #1. You’re Making It Too Big a Deal
- #2. You’re Trying Too Hard
- #3. You’re Too Focused on Current Reality
- #4. You’re Focusing on It Too Much
- #5. You’re Not Focusing on It Enough
- #6. You’re Attaching Your Happiness to It
- First Round of Questions
- #7. It’s Too Big of a Goal
- #8. You Don’t Believe You Deserve It
- #9. You Don’t Believe It’s Possible
- #10. You’re Getting Something Out of Not Having It
- #11. You Don’t Know Others Who Have Achieved It
- #12. You Haven’t Become a Match to Your Goal
- Second Round of Questions
Brandon: Hey, everyone. This is Brandon Olivares. I’m here with Christine.
Brandon: This is our webinar on how to succeed with big manifestations. First of all, I want to make sure everyone can hear me okay. I see we have people filtering in here, so that’s awesome. How we’re going to do this is in a few minutes I’m going to get started on 12 points on how you are getting stuck with your big manifestations. These are 12 reasons it’s not working. I’m going to go through each point and describe what you can do about that. Halfway through, we will take questions. Please ask your questions on the way through so they’re there by the time I get there. About halfway through, we will take questions. At the end, we will also take questions. We’ll do it like that.
I see we have a good number of people here already. Also, for those on Facebook, feel free to leave comments. I will be checking it throughout the webinar. I hope everyone is ready to get started today. If you want to, you can leave me a chat message if you click “chat.” Tell me what your big manifestation is that you’re working on or even what area of life it is you’re working on. That would be awesome, too. If you would do that now, it would be awesome.
Christine: I’m going to give my story.
Brandon: Yes, Christine is going to give hers. You’re working on health. We’ll learn more about that later. If you guys want to tell us what you are working on, that would be cool, too.
Christine: What did you say? Sorry.
Brandon: I said if everyone else wants to tell us what they’re working on. I see we have lots of people today. This is awesome. We’ll get started then. Again, today we are discussing why you are getting stuck with your manifestations, especially big manifestations. What can you do to get out of those? [Participant 1] is manifesting a relationship. I think that’s what a lot of people are doing, so that’s awesome. If anyone else wants to join, that’s awesome. We always love your participation.
Christine: We do.
Brandon: I want the interactions. Feel free to interact with us as we do these. Leave chats and ask questions. That would be awesome. As I was saying, we’re going to go through and focus on why you’re stuck, how you can get unstuck, especially for next level goals or even for ultimate level goals. We’ll see how that goes. We have 12 points here.
#1. You’re Making It Too Big a Deal
Brandon: Starting with point #1, the first reason people get stuck with their big manifestations is that they are making it too big of a deal. That’s one of the most common reasons I’ve seen. A lot of the ones we’re discussing today fall under this umbrella, but it’s also good to discuss it as a separate point. A lot of people make their manifestations all or nothing, life or death. They can’t fathom not getting it, or they fear so much not getting it that that’s all they focus on. Making a big deal—it’s something natural we do with a big manifestation. When you have a current level goal, which is something you feel is easy for you, it’s so much easier because you feel like you can just ask for it and forget about it and it’s fine. But with a next level or ultimate level goal, it’s a lot harder because the ego feels this need to try to make it happen.
When the ego really, really wants something, it tends to try to go after it through action or finding ways to make it happen like focusing on it a lot (which we’ll work on later). It tries to make it happen and makes it a really, really big deal. One of the easiest ways that you can break through resistance for getting to the next level is to make it easier for you. Make it more ordinary.
What I tell people to do is imagine we have the feeling that you just got it yesterday, which is a really awesome feeling. I just got it earlier today or something. Imagine you got your goal two weeks ago or a month ago. It’s a part of your life now, so it feels ordinary. Anything we get I call the “day after Christmas” effect. You get all the awesome gifts for Christmas. The day after is back to life as usual. A week after Christmas or New Year’s, everything is back to normal. That’s sort of how this is. You have this new goal, but it’s also a part of life now. Go ahead.
Christine: But it could be an amazing part of life. Yes, it’s going to be very ordinary. If you’ve read Harry Potter, he found out he was a wizard. Then it became normal. He wasn’t like, “Oh my gosh, this is so cool” all the time. He was at first. He still loved being a wizard, so it’s the same thing. You want your goal. You don’t want to see it as extraordinary. Miracles or manifestations happen. They are in the little things or in the big things, but they are so ordinary. They just happen.
Brandon: It’s difficult. It’s a big part of your life. It can be really important. It can even be really awesome where you’re living your purpose, especially for an ultimate level goal. Things can definitely be different. The point is, you can get the biggest thing you can possibly imagine. You’re a millionaire or a billionaire or you’ve found the love of your life or you have the health you want, your dream house, dream car, whatever. If you get that and then it’s a week, month, or year later, you’re not awed by it anymore. Maybe we should be. I don’t know. It’s just emotionally impossible to be awed by every little thing we have that’s awesome. We all have. We get that awesome thing. We’re really excited for a while. Then it gets (I don’t want to say “old”) ordinary. Do you think a millionaire is awed by the million or many millions of dollars they have? No. It’s just sort of ordinary.
To me, one of the most effective things you can do to get the law of attraction to work for you—especially for big manifestations—is to make it become ordinary to you. Focus on it so much that that feeling becomes not old, not boring, but ordinary. There is a difference. You can really love life, but it can be ordinary to you. That’s what you’re after. That’s #1 here.
#2. You’re Trying Too Hard
Brandon: #2 (moving along here) is the second reason you might get stuck with a big manifestation: you’re trying too hard. This goes back into #1. You’re trying too hard because you’re making too big a deal out of it. The ego is trying to take a lot of action. I find that happens a lot with certain clients I have. We’ll talk about focusing too much two points from now, #4. Either you’re taking too much action, you’re focusing too much, you’re obsessing about it, whatever. You’re trying way too hard. I have a thing I tell my clients: if you feel like it’s stress, struggle, or work, then you’re trying too hard.
Christine: I think people get put off by the size of the goal. They think that because it’s this big goal, they have to push against it and do all this stuff. That’s going to make it worse. You don’t become a bodybuilder in one day. You can’t just say, “I’m going to lift 500 lbs today.” I don’t know if anyone could, but you work up to that. The point is, it’s easy. It’s easy to lift 100 lbs at first. As you get bigger goals, you do more, but it won’t feel hard. It will be natural.
Brandon: I talk about the principle of wu wei. I’m really big into Taoism and the Tao Te Ching. I recommend it as a book to read if you’re into spirituality or the law of attraction. I especially recommend the translation by Stephen Mitchell. I really highly recommend reading that. In that book and in Taoism in general, they have the principle of wu wei, nondoing. I’ve talked a lot about on the mailing list about nondoing and how that’s helped me to find things that I’ve lost and things like that. It’s a real thing. When you are pushing or are against the flow, it doesn’t work. You’re going to be stressed, and you’re not going to get your thing. When the ego is involved in trying to do this so much, it’s not going to work.
When you relax and stop panicking and let yourself go with the flow of things, then it works a lot better. That’s what you want to do. When I just started doing this two years ago in September of 2015 (I’ve told this story to anyone who has been on my site a long time, and I’ve told it recently, too), we had virtually no money due to different circumstances that month. $200 to get through the month. I said, “I don’t know too much about the law of attraction yet, but I know that I can’t panic.” That was my mantra that month: “Don’t panic. It will work out okay.” And it absolutely did. I refused to panic. I refused to try to make things work out. I just knew that.
I said, “If this law of attraction stuff works, it’s going to have to work now.” [laughs] And it made it work. It was a sink or swim moment, and I swam. That’s when I really knew the law of attraction worked. That’s what you have to do: not panic, not stress, not try so hard. A lot of people will ask me, “Why is it so much work? Why do I have to try so hard?” I say, “It shouldn’t feel like that. If it feels like you’re trying so hard, you’re doing it wrong.” If it feels like you have to try so hard, you’re doing it wrong.
Christine: No matter how big the goal is. It doesn’t matter energetically, really.
Brandon: It doesn’t matter. If you’re trying that hard, you’re not doing it right. When you relax (relaxing doesn’t mean not focusing; we’ll talk about focus later) and go with the flow and don’t panic and be positive about it, that goes a long way to helping you to achieve your goal. That’s that point.
#3. You’re Too Focused on Current Reality
Brandon: #3, you are too focused on current reality. This one is a big, big, big one. I know it’s really simple. I know we all kind of know this one, but it happens anyway. I mentioned this. Anyone who watched the Readers Question I did yesterday, I talked about this exact point. Any goal you have, you have a gap. You have a gap between what is now and where you want to be. If you want to manifest money, then you have the bank balance you have right now versus what you want to have, or the amount you get now versus what you want to get. That’s a gap. If it’s a relationship, you have the relationship or the lack of relationship now and the one you want to have. That goes for anything. Any manifestation has a gap.
The bigger the goal (we’ll talk about the size of the goal later), the bigger the gap. Small goals like getting a parking space have barely any gap. You can just bridge right away. Larger goals like money or a perfect relationship have a much bigger gap. Ultimate level goals (which is your ultimate purpose) has an even bigger gap. When you have any kind of manifestation, you have a gap.
As creators, we have to choose to focus on the thing that we want. Not all the time, but we have to choose to focus on the thing we want. What happens with a lot of people is we’re used to focusing on what is. That good old phrase “what is.” We’re used to focusing on what is and current reality. Current reality is not going to show us what we want to see because we don’t have it yet. What I like to tell people is current reality is your vibrational past, basically. Current reality is what you focused on yesterday, two days ago, or a week ago. What you see today is not what you were focusing on today unless you let current reality influence your focus. Then yes, it is. But not because of that. Your current reality is the result of what you were focusing on however long ago.
That is something to keep in mind. What you are focusing on today is going to result in manifestations tomorrow or even later today. It could be tomorrow, two days from now, a week from now—it just depends. I used to notice that if I was having a few off days of anxiety or even just one day, it wouldn’t hit me (as far as manifestations are concerned) for about two or three days, I found at that time. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it doesn’t. It just depends on the manifestation. It can take a little while sometimes.
What you are focusing on today is going to result in future manifestations. The reason that’s important is what you’re seeing today is not your current vibration, necessarily. There’s a delay.
Brandon: When you change your focus, you have to wait to see that result. You will see that result, but you have to keep focusing on where you want the result to go. I tell people to ask themselves this question: Do I want this thought to create for me in my reality? Do I want this thought to create more of itself? If the answer is yes, don’t do anything. You’re fine. If the answer is no, then you want to change things. That’s the basic litmus test. If your thought is not something you want more of, change it. Change your focus.
Moving on to #4, we’ll take questions soon.
Christine: We’ve got two questions so far.
#4. You’re Focusing on It Too Much
Brandon: Keep the questions coming, and we’ll get to them after #6. But keep the questions coming, please. You’re awesome. #4 is you’re focusing on it too much. It’s also a very common problem I’ve seen. Again, it goes back to trying too hard and making too big of a deal of it. Your ego wants to focus, focus, focus all day long. It’s afraid of stopping. It’s afraid of not focusing. If you’re focusing more than twice or three times a day at the most—if it’s hard for you to stop thinking about it and when you do think about it, it feels stressful—you’re focusing on it too much. Let me tell you something. When you focus on it, you’re building up energy. You’re building up energy inside yourself. You’re releasing it out to the universe when you let it go.
If you never let it go, it can’t go anywhere. It’s just going to keep stagnant inside your energy system. It can’t go out to actually create. It can’t create while you’re focusing on it. Your focus is, like I said, creating the future. The energy can’t change anything while it’s stuck in your own energy system. You have to focus on your goal. I tell people also, don’t do it for very long. You can do it for a few minutes, and that’s fine. Don’t do it for 10 or 15 minutes. Focus on the goal, and let it go. That’s enough. Later on you can do it again if you want to.
Christine: The more you focus on it, the more you’re going to get all stressed out. The more you’re going to be like, “What if this happens? What if that happens? What if? What if? What if?” It’s going to get really stressful. I’ve done this before for me. I’ve done it. I’m telling you something: you’re going to get obsessive, then you’ll get OCD, and then it will get really bad. Then you won’t get it at all. That was my problem for 20-something years.
Brandon: Exactly. You don’t want to do that. You can’t keep focusing on it because it will get to be stressful. You will get resentful.
Christine: Then you’ll be like, “Why isn’t it here yet?” Then you’re going to get cynical, and it will spiral.
Brandon: Focus on it just enough, but then you have to let it go. That has to be a big part of it: letting go. You just don’t want to overdo the focus. Like I said, two or three times a day. The best time to focus is before bed. Any other time is fine, too, but you want one of those focuses to be before bed. Then it allows your subconscious mind to take in those new things overnight and reprogram yourself while you’re sleeping.
Christine: That’s when I do mine. It’s easier.
Brandon: I do it other times, too, but I always make sure I do it right before bed.
Christine: I forgot to last night. I didn’t think about it. Oh, well.
#5. You’re Not Focusing on It Enough
Brandon: That’s really beneficial. #5 is the inverse of this: you’re not focusing on it enough. This is the opposite problem. What happens is you get some law of attraction teachers saying, “Ask for it once and let it go. Don’t ask for it again. Ask for it once. Don’t ask all the time.” I find daily or mostly daily focus is ideal. Now, I’ve been bad about this. I’ve done it after a few days, or even two or three days sometimes, but it works. You don’t want to just ask once, or once a week. You want to focus on it regularly. Some people will say ask for or focus on it once and then feel good, and no matter what you’re feeling good about, it will come. That is not true. That is true for a current level goal. It’s not true for a bigger goal, a next level goal. That is not true.
Christine: Persistence is so important. The universe is thinking, “He or she just asked for it once, so I’m not taking it seriously.”
Brandon: To me, it’s more like you have to build up the energy. For a current level goal, the reason that you don’t have to focus on it is because you have that energetic pathway in your subconscious mind. It will come through. It doesn’t have any obstacles, so it’s no problem. But if it doesn’t have that, then it’s going to run into obstacles, so you need to introduce more energy to test the waters. Are there obstacles this time? I always warn people. I see a few of my clients here. Maybe you guys know. What’s the first thing I tell you in the first session? I say, “As you are increasing your focus and doing this more, you’re going to hit resistance.”
In “The Art of Reality Creation 1.0,” I had this thing. I would say that you had the creation stage and the debugging stage. The creation stage is when you’re focusing on it. The debugging stage is the rest of the time when the resistance is coming up and so on. When you do that focusing, then there’s always resistance that comes up later. I tell you guys that resistance is a good sign. You want resistance because that means you’re headed in the right direction. You definitely want that. You want to focus enough that you’re testing the waters. You’re pushing through the resistance. You are allowing it to come through again and again and again, so that every time you release it, you’re going deeper into the goal. We’ll talk about transformation later. That will be the last point. That’s why it’s so important. You want to focus regularly, but not too much. [laughs] It’s kind of a balance.
#6. You’re Attaching Your Happiness to It
#6, then we’ll do questions. You’re attaching your happiness to achieving it. This is a really, really, really big one. It goes with what we’ve been discussing. You don’t want to say, “I will be happy when I get this goal.” You can’t be happy without this goal. “I’m so miserable without my goal. Why isn’t my goal here yet?” You can’t do that. You just can’t do that. You have to detach your happiness from your goals.
Christine: Because it’s going to become ordinary. That’s why. It’s going to become normal.
Brandon: Exactly. If your happiness is attached to your goal, then you’re going to get the goal eventually (with a lot of struggle, probably). Then it’s going to be something else you want. Then you’re going to get that goal, and it’s going to be something else. Then get the goal and something else. Your happiness will always be on the horizon. It will always be in the future. You don’t want that. You don’t want to do that.
Christine: You want to be happy now.
Brandon: Right. You have to be happy now, and then have that vision for the future. I’m going to give a link to this article I found. Sorry about this, it’s just an interesting one. There was a psychological study done where they took two groups of people. One group had just won the lottery a year ago. The other group were in major accidents that left them paralyzed, quadriplegic or paraplegic. Two very different groups of people. They found that right after these significant events, the people who won the lottery were significantly happier and the people who had been in accidents were not so happy, obviously. Pretty obvious stuff. But a year later, it was about the same. Their level of happiness was about the same.
Now, why is that? You’d think if someone won the lottery, they’d be happy all the time. No, it becomes ordinary. Same thing with an accident. Your brain has a tremendous ability to make either the very good or very bad kind of ordinary and a regular part of life. After a year, it did that. I had this thing where I talked about the point of homeostasis. You’re back to normal. The theory is that there are these happiness set points. You have a certain set point that is where you stay most of the time. You can go a little above, a little below, but you pretty much always come back to the happiness set point.
No matter what goal you get, you will come back to that set point. You have to change the set point yourself. There are different ways to do that, for your happiness to increase. It’s not goals that do it. It’s not anything else that does it. You have to do it yourself. As cliché as it sounds, happiness is a choice. Your happiness does not come from goals. It has to come from what you choose to do. You can choose to be grateful. You can choose to focus on appreciating life and being in the present. If you can do that and have that vision for the future, you’re going to get there a lot more quickly than if you just have the vision and you’re just stressed right now. You’re anxious. You’re not going to get there very easily. It’s going to be a struggle.
Christine: It comes from within, happiness. It never comes from external things.
Brandon: If you can be happy right now and detach that from that goal and have that vision for the future, you’re going to get intuitive flashes. Everything is going to work out. You’ll get synchronicities, signs, coincidences, whatever, and it’s all going to work out. That’s what you want to have happen. We’re about at the halfway point. I’m going to go into questions. I have two questions I was sent beforehand that I’m going to do really quick because they weren’t able to be here tonight. We’ll do that really quick.
First Round of Questions
The first question I got was, “How do you stop obsessing when the manifestation seems very close?” We talked about not focusing too much on current reality. How do you stop obsessing? It’s a hard question because it depends on the person, but the best answer to this is basically just being really-self aware. When you find yourself obsessing, you’re mindful. You say, “I know that I’m obsessing right now. I know this isn’t a good thing.” You have to let that go. You have to do that over and over and over again until it stops. You’re basically defusing this anxious, stressful energy out of your manifestation, which isn’t going to help it. I find that as long as you’re being obsessive, it’s not going to happen. Find a way to turn your focus away from that and away from the “what-ifs” and towards something else. Distract yourself from obsessing about it. That’s the best thing you can do about it. Being mindful of that obsessive energy is really the best thing you can do.
The second question I got was, “Should you manage your expectations so you’re not disappointed if it doesn’t happen, or trust fully and be crushed if it doesn’t happen?” It’s a false dichotomy, I feel like. First of all, you don’t want to be saying, “Well, if it doesn’t happen, I’m not going to expect it.”
Christine: Don’t get me started on that. [laughs]
Brandon: That’s sort of self-defeating. [laughs]
Christine: Yes, a little. That’s what trapped me for years.
Brandon: It’s a little self-defeating, so don’t do that. Also, don’t allow yourself to get crushed if it doesn’t happen. That’s why detaching your happiness from your goal and making it not such a big deal will defuse that situation a lot. If you can make it not such a big deal and not obsess about it and relax about it, first of all, it’s probably going to happen, then. But even if it doesn’t, you have to find a way to reframe it. In NLP we have reframing that we talk about. How can you see the situation in a more positive light? Maybe it didn’t happen right now, but maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to happen right now, or it’s something I wasn’t supposed to have, or something better is coming. Reframe it somehow, but don’t get crushed by it. I know it’s hard, because I know a lot of people who have set goals. Then if they don’t get it, they get discouraged with the law of attraction. You can’t do that. You have to count your successes, not your failures.
Christine: A lot of times you don’t get it because you’re blocked or because there’s something better for you. You’ll either get your goal or something better.
Brandon: Exactly. You probably will get that unless it’s something plus—something that’s not a core desire that you didn’t actually want on a deep level. But you’ll find that out as you go. I’ve had clients who have worked with me. Halfway through, they’re like, “Wait. I actually realized I didn’t want this specific thing, so let’s change it.” That’s okay. That’s perfectly okay. Moving on to our questions.
We have a question from [Participant #2], who asks, “I’m working on creating new income at the moment.” Oh, you put it in the questions instead of the chat. So you’re working on creating a new income. That’s awesome. We have another question. “Wouldn’t gratitude be better than thinking of the manifestation as ordinary?” That’s a good question.
Christine: Not that gratitude isn’t important.
Brandon: You want to be grateful. Let’s say this. 50 years down the road, think of the best thing in life that ever happened to you. You’re going to be grateful, but it’s not going to be like on Day 1. The emotional level of that is always going to straighten and even out. That’s always going to happen. You’re not being ungrateful just because it’s ordinary. It’s just a natural part of life. I think back to the first iPhone I ever got. The iPhone is an amazing thing, especially for blind people, because it makes it so much more accessible for us. How many years has it been, Christine—5, 6 years?
Christine: You got it in 2011, I think. Right the beginning of 2011, I think.
Brandon: Right. It’s been almost 7 years. I’m grateful for it, but it’s not like Day 1 where I’m doing a happy dance. I’m super psyched about it. Some people will pretend to do that, but that’s not real. It’s not authentic. It’s really not effective to do that. It’s going to become ordinary to you over time anyway.
Christine: Do you know how I see it? I see it as your happy dance the first time you get it. Then the emotion gets deeper. See it as a relationship. When you first fall in love with someone, you’re in the honeymoon stage where you have puppy love. Then as you’re about to get married and actually after you do get married, your love gets deeper. You have arguments, but you know your love is always there because you have it. I always used to tell Brandon, “Love is a choice.” Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have feelings or emotions, but it’s a very deep thing. Sometimes people drive you nuts, but then you go back to the beginning. “Oh, yeah. This is why I did this.” It becomes much deeper, almost, not on the surface anymore.
Brandon: I like that a lot. It’s not this infatuation, “This person is the best person in the whole world. There are no faults in them and they’re awesome.” That ends after a while. We all know this. You get to see the real them with all their faults and flaws, and you love them anyway. That’s how our desires become. Yes, we’re super psyched about them, and then it becomes an everyday part of life. We love having them. We wouldn’t want to be without it, but it’s just….A millionaire might be grateful for having millions of dollars, but it’s not the same level as when they got their first million. I guarantee it. That feeling of awe, ecstasy, and excitement is not going to stay there forever. It’s not realistic.
Yes, you want to be grateful, but you also want it to even out and become normal. When it becomes normal, that’s when you know it’s really, really close. That’s really important. I get some people who are disappointed when that happens. They are living for that high. We get that because of Abraham-Hicks and the Vortex, always living in the Vortex and being on a high-flying disc. Being on a high all the time.
Christine: It’s not realistic.
Brandon: It’s not realistic. Your brain needs a break. It needs highs and lows, and you’re going to even out. That’s why I talk about the zero state.
Christine: I think that was my problem. I may as well just tell you. My manifestation—I was born with a very severe form of glaucoma in both eyes, so that’s what I’ve always known. I’ve had 22 or 23 eye surgeries. I don’t even remember the number now. I’ve gone through a lot. Ever since I was really little, people have told me (and I’ve had this desire) that I would be healed, that my vision would be restored. When I was younger, it was a lot easier to believe. Then I got into the trap of too much focus. That didn’t work. Then I got resentful. That didn’t work, either. But I used to be scared. What if I get it and I’m like, “This is driving me nuts because there’s some stuff I just don’t want to see!”? I thought I would just stay the way I am, but then that doesn’t make me happy, either.
I’d rather it be ordinary and be like, “I don’t want to see this today,” to not have a high, to not necessarily be grateful for it. Maybe I’ll have a love-hate relationship with it, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not appreciative deep down. But for me, that’s my goal. It was not an easy thing to share because I’ve been ridiculed for it before. But I feel like sharing it helps. When I was little, I was very stable. From the time I was 3 to the time I was 15 or so, I was very stable. Then everything went downhill. That’s when I started becoming cynical. It’s hard. I understand.
Then I started getting migraines 5 years ago. That didn’t help, either. That’s what happens when you become resentful. When you overfocus and underfocus (and I’ve done both).
Brandon: Yes, you definitely don’t want to do that. It has to be an ordinary thing. It has to be like, “This will be awesome” but also ordinary. Anything after a while does become that way. Moving on to another question. This is the final question we have right now. No, we actually have two questions now.
Christine: Oh, we do? I’m sorry. I didn’t check. That’s my fault.
Brandon: We’ll go back to our next 6 points. Anonymous asks, “Can you give a step-by-step example of releasing resistance?” I’m going to save that for the end. Yes, I can, but let me discuss the other points first. [Participant #1] asks, “Don’t you need strong emotion while you’re focusing on it in order to give the thought the right vibration? The thought of it happening feels kind of ordinary, but not while I visualize.”
That is actually a very good question. It’s a very common misconception.
Christine: I don’t have a lot of emotion. I mean, I do, but it’s not like, “Yay!”
Brandon: Here’s the thing. I’ve said this before to others. When I manifest, I rarely have my emotional level go above a 2 or 3 in intensity (if 10 is the absolute most intense and 1 is not at all). Sometimes I go up to a 5. I never aim for a 10 or a 9 or an 8. It’s always about 2 or 3. It’s not about the strength of emotion.
Christine: I don’t want to get ahead of you, but it’s about choosing it and accepting it. That’s what it’s about. It’s not about how much you can get hyped up today. There are drugs for that. [laughs]
Brandon: It’s not “Oh, my gosh! It’s going to happen! I’m so excited about it” or an absolute high. You don’t want that.
Christine: That’s why there’s coffee. [laughs]
Brandon: This is going to be controversial. Usually when you have a super high emotion, there’s some sort of resistance in that. Imagine you’re really excited about a job interview, vacation, or a date. Mixed in that is a fear. Excitement is mixed with fear, I find, because you’re worried that it won’t happen or won’t go well. Excitement and nervousness go hand in hand, and you don’t want that. A very nice, calm feeling of “This would be nice. I’m looking forward to this.” This is why ordinary is the best. Having your goal doesn’t feel super excited. I’ve had lots of goals that I’ve manifested. None of them, I guarantee you, feel like the best thing in the whole world. Maybe in that moment, yes, but not a month or two down the road. So that’s not what you need to feel like when you’re visualizing. It’s just a nice, content feeling. This is really cool. I really appreciate this. I am really happy. Not this super hyped up thing.
I’ve manifested lots and lots and lots of things. The very iMac I’m doing this on now I manifested really quickly within a few weeks, and I was never super psyched about it. Never.
Christine: Even though you wouldn’t stop talking to me about it.
Brandon: When I got it.
Christine: No, before you got it. “I really want this iMac.” You were excited in a controlled way.
Brandon: I would say that one got to a 4 at most.
Christine: You have to share it with somebody sometimes, at most.
Brandon: It never really goes that high for me. When we let it get too high, it makes it out of control with resistance. I hope that helps. I know it’s uncommon, but that’s what I find is how it goes. Let’s go into the last 6 points. Feel free to ask questions as I go. Anonymous, I will link to your question at the end because it is very valid and I will get to it.
#7. It’s Too Big of a Goal
#7, it’s too big of a goal. It can happen. Here’s what you need for a goal. You need believable. You need a little of a stretch. It needs to be something you really want that really speaks to you. A core desire. Those are the three criteria you need for a goal. It needs to be relatively believable. You need a balance between believable and a bit of a stretch. It’s going to be a little scary, but if it’s too scary, unless you’re really super good at this, you’re not going to be able to overcome that fear.
I remember last December I had a really big money goal. Something changed where it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought it would be. I got really scared and thought I should lower it. At that point, I chose not to. It was still kind of believable, but it was really stressful. But I did get it. [laughs] It was really stressful.
Christine: You got it at the very last minute.
Brandon: I got it pretty late in the month.
Christine: Who cares?
Brandon: It happened. That is definite. You don’t want it to be too big, though. If it’s really big and you aren’t really good at managing your focus (especially when you’re just starting this out), you’re just going to sink. You’re going to sabotage yourself. It’s just not going to work. I don’t usually recommend changing your goal unless you absolutely have to. Try to do it first, but if you are just slammed with so much resistance that you are panicking, anxious, and just not able to handle it, then stop. Change it. Lower it. That’s your first choice.
Your second choice is to overcome the fear. Why are you fearing this so much? If you can do that, then it’s a huge growth experience.
Christine: That was my issue. I used to have a lot of fear about my goal. I finally was like, “I’ll try breaking it into steps. First the migraines, then the vision.” Then that didn’t work. I said, “You know what? What causes the migraines is the root issue anyway. I’m just going to go for it.” Yes, I did have resistance. I’m sure I still will. I don’t know. But then it came up again, and it didn’t bother me as much. Sure, I was scared. Maybe I am a little bit, still, but I’d rather face the fear. I’ve run for 27 years now, because that’s how old I am. I’m done with that.
Brandon: There’s no judgment if you do the growth experience or not. For some people, it’s just not possible.
Christine: It took me a long time.
Brandon: That’s okay. But if it’s too big, especially if you’re just starting out on this, don’t force yourself to do this big goal. Start with smaller stuff.
Christine: Or break the big goal into smaller steps. Even you had to do that last year.
Brandon: Right. I did that to get off of SSI. It took me 7 months to do, but I broke it into steps and I got there.
Christine: But now you could do it no problem.
Brandon: Right. That’s just how it goes. You don’t want to have too huge of a goal where you say, “I can’ t do this.” That’s too much to manage.
#8. You Don’t Believe You Deserve It
#8 is you don’t believe you deserve it.
Christine: That’s a tough one.
Brandon: This goes in subconscious beliefs, self-worth issues and whatnot. I’m going to actually post yet another link to a video from Marisa Pier. Some of you (especially my clients here) have this link because I’ve been sharing it lately because it’s awesome.
Christine: It is amazing. I loved it.
Brandon: She tells people, “You are enough. You are enough.” [laughs] It sounds inane. Seriously, she gets amazing results from it. It’s really cool. Check out the video. It’s really cool. Self-worth, believing you don’t deserve it. Remember that podcast I did a while ago about how the universe believes you deserve anything you want? But you have to believe it.
Christine: Watch the negative programming. That’s what happened to me. I had a lot of negative programming. People told me—not that I didn’t deserve it, but that I wouldn’t get it or that I should just be accepting of what I have right now. To me it was, “I don’t deserve it.”
Brandon: That’s the point about the people around you. That’s a point we’ll make later.
Christine: Exactly. If you’re manifesting a goal and you’re not sure if someone will believe you, don’t tell them about it. It’ll hurt you. Or be ready for the resistance if you do tell them.
Brandon: When I first started really having success about a year ago, the first bit of time I wouldn’t tell people about my goals. Now I’m a little bit more open.
Christine: Not even me.
Brandon: Not even you. Now I’m more open about it because I’m more confident. I won’t go public with this until I actually do it. I’m about to accomplish one of my major goals that I had that I really wasn’t sure was possible.
Christine: I think I know what it is. Is it the one we talked about earlier?
Brandon: I really feel ready for it. I think it’s time to jump on it. [laughs] That was something I told Christine about, even though I was really nervous. I had a lot of confidence that this is going to be possible. Even if it doesn’t happen, I know it will happen eventually. That’s how it happens. Going back to the point, you have to know that you deserve it. If you don’t believe that, try that video telling yourself “I am enough.” Really let that in and believe that. If that doesn’t work for you, then through coaching you can work through some of those subconscious beliefs. I use NLP. It’s awesome for that. The Work of Byron Katie is awesome for that.
Christine: He’s my coach every day. Seriously, the last podcast we did really hit me. That’s what spearheaded my realization that this is the goal I needed to have. If he can help his wife, then he can help you a lot more.
Brandon: Coaching is a really good thing if you have those sorts of beliefs. I don’t go into the past unless I have to. It’s not often in a session that I have to go into childhood stuff. I try to deal with the present unless something really begs to be released from the past. It doesn’t happen all the time. One of these beliefs that I’m not worthy of it or I’m not deserving of it—that’s something where we go back. Why is that true? Why do you believe that?
#9. You Don’t Believe It’s Possible
#9 is you don’t believe it’s possible. This could go back to where the goal is too big for you. If you know it’s impossible for you, then don’t do it. Don’t torture yourself, please. I’m working with a business coach. The last time I worked with her, she said (I’m not going to say the numbers right here), “Okay. This amount—can you make that by the end of the year?” I was like, “Whoa, wait a second. Um, I don’t know.” She said, “Okay, that’s what I thought. What about this lesser amount?” I’m like, “I think I could do that.” It was 25% less. She said, “That’s what I figured, but if I said that lesser amount first, then you’d react like that and freak out about it. But if I said the bigger amount and then went down to the lesser amount, then it would be easier.”
Christine: Then you might actually get that bigger amount anyway.
Brandon: Right, exactly.
Christine: Tricked you.
Brandon: Why shouldn’t I be able to do this? Just this visceral reaction. No, I can’t do that. It’s impossible. [laughs]
Christine: I don’t think you told me about this.
Brandon: I didn’t tell you. I’ll tell you the numbers later. I love my business coach. She believes in law of attraction, too. We always talk about that. She says, “Don’t make it something that your subconscious mind freaks out about it so much it’s impossible and you can’t do it.” When I set my new coaching prices—my clients here know how that’s gone—it was a little of a freak-out. It was double or three times what they were before. I was charging $125 an hour before I changed my prices a few months ago. My business coach helped me change my prices. It was hard, but I got my first new client with the new pricing within a week or a few days. Right away. It wasn’t too hard. It wasn’t too bad.
If I were to set them really high like what my coach charges, I’d be like, “No way.”
Christine: You’ll get there.
Brandon: I’ll get there. It’s all about steps. If it feels impossible, don’t kill yourself. But if you know it’s at least a bit possible, here’s where we come back to don’t focus on current reality. Here’s the greatest piece of advice I have for this point and possibly for this whole thing. If you even can fathom that it’s even 1% or 0.1% or 0.000001% possible, then you have an in. You can do it. All you have to do is focus on that possibility. I don’t need you to know for a fact or a certainty that you will get it. I don’t need that from you. All I need is that you can fathom the possibility of it, no matter how slight, and you focus on that possibility to the exclusion of all else. Go ahead.
Christine: It’s just like in the Bible where Jesus says, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,” which is not the smallest seed, but it must have been back then, “then nothing is impossible.” They’re not the smallest. They’re very small, but they’re not the smallest. The point was, you don’t have to have a lot of faith. Just a little tiny bit is all you need. This is in the freaking Bible.
Brandon: A lot of law of attraction stuff is in the Bible. [laughs]
Christine: I know.
Brandon: If you can just fathom the possibility of it. I ask myself a question. Do I believe it’s possible? Yes, I believe it’s possible. It doesn’t mean I believe it’s going to happen. It doesn’t mean I believe it’s definitely going to happen or that it’s absolutely positively certain. Do I believe it’s possible? Yes. Okay, so focus on that. Don’t focus on the “What if it doesn’t happen?” That’s stupid.
Here’s the thing. Let’s take the parallel reality theory of existence. There are infinite realities out there. At least one of those has your desire. In at least one of those parallel realities, you are out there enjoying your desire already. If that’s true, and it is because every possibility is out there, then it’s possible. If it’s possible, you can focus on that. If you focus on that reality where that’s a fact, then you’ll get there. If you focus on other realities where you don’t have it, that’s what you’re going to step in to. Your focus dictates what reality you step in to. That’s very simple but also very difficult.
Focus on that reality. Focus on that possibility. There’s a reality out there where I have this. That’s all I can tell myself. Isn’t that so easy and simple and nice-feeling? I don’t have to do anything. I can feel that there’s a reality out there where I have this already. That’s just a fact. That’s how it is. That’s all you have to do. Keep that up, and you will get there. That’s really all there is to it. If you don’t believe it’s possible, you probably do, it’s just very small. Focus on that minute possibility, and it will grow. That’s all you have to do.
#10. You’re Getting Something Out of Not Having It
#10, you’re getting something out of not having it. This came up. I added this to my list because I had a client earlier today. I’ve had other clients like this before. I have this issue. Actually, my subconscious is keeping it as it is because there may be something I’m getting out of it. I’ve had that before.
Christine: Me, too.
Brandon: One of my favorite people lately, Vishen Lakhiani, talks about this. No, this Marisa person talks about this, too. If you say to your brain, “I really want some time off from work to rest,” your brain will say, “Okay, here’s the flu.” [laughs] Now you’re sick. Wait, that’s not what I wanted. In a way, it’s what you wanted. It’s what your brain thought you wanted. That video I linked to will talk about this principle, so I really recommend listening to it. I used to do that in college. I used to get really stressed. I wished I could have some time off.
Christine: You got so sick.
Brandon: Then I’d get really, really sick, but I was getting something out of that. I was getting something out of being sick, so it happened. It can happen sometimes. What are you getting out of being poor? What are you getting out of being single? What are you getting out of being sick? That’s a really harsh question.
Christine: I used to hate when you asked me that. I was so mad at you, but it was so true. It was because it bothered me. Yes, it did.
Brandon: If this is something you’re keeping around, your brain doesn’t do what doesn’t work. It only does what works, so you’re getting something out of not having what you want. What is it? Remove that cause, and you’ll get it.
Christine: For me, it was the migraines. That’s how they started. I felt like I wasn’t being taken care of, so after my surgery, they started. They haven’t stopped as of yet. That’s because I felt like I wasn’t being taken care of. My brain is like, “Okay, here are perpetual migraines you get every day that are really bad.”
Brandon: I’m sorry, we’re going to go a little over time here. That’s all right.
Christine: That’s because I can’t shut up.
Brandon: No, it’s because I can’t shut up, either. [laughs]
Christine: I’m really trying to keep it short on my end.
Brandon: I’ve had that a lot in my life. I’ll give you an example. For those of you who don’t know, SSI is supplemental security income. It’s basically for disabled people who can’t work so they have some safety net. I was on SSI since I was 18 until this year. I was 28 then. I’m 29 now. For 10 years, I was on SSI. The reason I wouldn’t get off of it was because I was afraid of not having that safety net. What if I fail? How can I pay the bills? I don’t have that trust. At least with SSI I have that $1000 a month I know I’ll have no matter what. I had to overcome that fear. That was what I was getting out of being poor. That was what I was getting out of not having money.
I resolved that, and I started getting a lot more money. I got off SSI, and I haven’t looked back. I was so happy to be off of it. What are you getting out of not having your goal? Really be honest with yourself, no matter how mad at me your ego wants you to get for asking that question.
Christine: It will.
Brandon: Out of not having this. I’m not saying there is something. There isn’t for everyone. Some people just really want their goal but they don’t believe in themselves or that it’s possible. This is a definite reason that some people can have. Go in there and try to figure it out. #11.
Christine: There’s an 11?
Brandon: Yes. I added two more points.
Christine: You didn’t tell me about these. Okay.
#11. You Don’t Know Others Who Have Achieved It
Brandon: You know this one, though. You don’t know others who have achieved it. We all probably know this quote. [Participant #2], you sent it out earlier to the list on the same day that I was going to talk about this. It was not related at all, so it was kind of funny. Here’s a quote. “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” That’s from Jim Roan. I think that’s very true. If you want to have money, surround yourself with people who have a lot of money. If you have friends who are really poor, you’re probably going to be poor. If you want to have a relationship and you’re surrounded by people who are not only single but complaining about being single, you’re probably going to be single. Go ahead.
Christine: You want people to lift you up, to help you say, “I have achieved this. This is possible.”
Brandon: They found that people who are overweight tend to have friends who are overweight, and vice versa with people who are thin. This applies across the board, no matter what your goal is. Get in the company. I don’t remember. There was a video about this. I don’t remember who said this at this point. One guy who started this popular company in California said he wanted to be successful in a startup, so he moved to Silicon Valley. Everyone there—he said you can’t throw a stone without hitting someone who’s starting a startup. If you go there, it’s really hard not to start a startup. [laughs] You’re going to start a startup. That’s just kind of how it is.
Surround yourself with people who have what you want. I’m going to repeat that. It’s another of the most important things I’m going to say today. Surround yourself with people who have what you want. If you want to increase your income, surround yourself with people who have that new level of income. If you want to have a wonderful relationship, surround yourself with people who have wonderful relationships. Not just anyone with a relationship, but people with wonderful relationships. Anything. Anything at all, just surround yourself with people who have that already or who believe it’s possible. But if they believe it’s possible, they’re probably going to have it. This is my time.
Christine: Is there one more?
Brandon: Yes, there is one more. Before I go into #12, I am going to make my brief offer today. There’s no obligation today. I’m just going to make my offer because it’s a new opportunity for everyone here. Anyone here who wants to continue with learning about the law of attraction, to go deeper with applying it to their lives, to being successful, I am offering until October 21st 20-minute strategy sessions. I will answer one of your questions about the law of attraction, so bring one of the most important ones you have. I’ll be up-front and honest. I will introduce (if it’s a fit to you) some of my programs. I have a new program coming up that I’m starting up now, or coaching, or tons of stuff going on. We’ll figure out what program of mine works best for you, but there’s no obligation. If you have a big question about the law of attraction that’s too big to ask here or that’s really personal or that you just want some time to discuss how this stuff works and how to apply it to your life, then go ahead and sign up for a 20-minute strategy session. There’s no obligation. Like I said, if I feel like it’s a fit, then I will discuss my programs, but that’s all. We will discuss any question you have for 20 minutes. You have to sign up before October 21st. I will not accept these after October 21st.
Let me send out a link. For those who are listening to the replay, it’s cocreationcoaching.org/strategy I’ll give you a minute if you want to do that right now so you can take a spot in the next week. I really highly recommend it so that we can talk about what you need the most help with and what your biggest questions are. Like I said, I have some really cool stuff coming up. I haven’t sent out the list yet, so I’m going to be really vague about it here. [laughs]
Christine: You have to find out. Ooh.
Brandon: I’m really excited about it. I have some really cool opportunities coming up. Go ahead and sign up for a strategy session, and I’ll be happy to work with you. Again, that will be 20 minutes, and I think it will be really enjoyable. Pick any time in the next week. My calendar is updated to what my schedule is, so you can pick any time there. Again, just to give the link one more time to those who are listening, the link is cocreationcoaching.org/strategy S-T-R-A-T-E-G-Y for those who don’t know how to spell. [laughs]
Christine: People don’t. Like me.
#12. You Haven’t Become a Match to Your Goal
Brandon: #12 is you haven’t become a match to your goal. This one again is obvious, but it’s not at the same time. This is how this one goes. Basically, your goal requires you to change. It requires you to be transformed. If you’re not the type of person who can have your goal, then you’re not the type of person who’s going to succeed in manifesting it. Look at lottery winners. They get a million or many millions of dollars. Then they lose it in a year. Inside, they’re not millionaires. They’re where they were. A poor person with a million dollars. There’s a difference between a millionaire and a poor person with a million dollars.
Christine: That’s so true.
Brandon: There’s a huge difference. They’ll lose it because they have to become who they are. Reality has to match who they are. That’s just how it has to go. Become the type of person who can have your goal. Become the type of person who can have the million dollars or the type of person who can have that relationship or health. Then you can have it. Reality will be a match to that, but work on the inside. Become a match. Transform yourself. Ask yourself, “Can I be the type of person who can naturally easily have this goal? Can I fully accept this goal into my reality? Is there space for it? Is there openness for it in my reality?” If the answer is no, then you have some work to do.
If it’s a next level goal or ultimate level goal, the answer is going to be no because you have to release that resistance. Become the type of person who can have the type of goal that you want. That’s the biggest thing you can do. Transformation is so important with all of this.
We’re back to questions.
Christine: We have two questions.
Second Round of Questions
Brandon: I did receive two other questions via email that I will answer very quickly. Then I will get back to your questions, including Anonymous, who asked about step by step. Now there are three questions. Keep your questions coming, and I will answer them.
First question is, “I am manifesting a relationship, and like you said, I seem able to manifest little stuff easily. Like I want him to say sorry for hurting me, but I do get a sorry, but it’s for something else. I have gotten exactly the same words in a text from him, but it was not exactly in the context I wanted. Why do you think that is? Is it because I’m not strong-willed enough?”
Christine: [laughs] Oh, boy. We go through this.
Brandon: [laughs] It’s so hard to tell you why that is unless I’m working with you directly. If things are happening that aren’t exactly how you wanted them, you may be getting too much into the details. Do you really want him to say sorry, or do you want a peaceful, fun, loving relationship with this person?
Christine: Because sometimes it’s not necessarily the words “I’m sorry,” it’s the actions. Sometimes the words don’t matter. You could say, “I’m sorry,” and do it again and again and again.
Brandon: It may happen. He may say sorry for the thing you want, but you’re focusing on something that’s really not that important in the long run.
Christine: What if he’s just not that great at communicating it, and he really does feel bad, but it’s hard for him to say, “I’m sorry for doing A,B,C,D,E,F,G”?
Brandon: Exactly. Focus on what you actually want in that relationship, and then whatever what needs to happen to bring that about will bring that about. I think you’re too much in the details, is my guess. Next question: “I think there was a negative manifestation, and looking back, I was carrying a lot of doubt and anger towards him. How do I accept this negative manifestation, or should I just totally forget about it? I have conflicting emotions about it, and yes, I did expect my manifestation not to happen immediately because I thought giving a deadline would give me pressure.” Well, that’s your problem. If you expected it not to happen immediately…
Christine: It’s not going to. [laughs]
Brandon: It’s not going to happen immediately, or at all. That’s what the issue is.
Christine: It’s good to put a little pressure. If you stress yourself out, then the goal is too big.
Brandon: Timelines don’t work for everyone. They work for me really well.
Christine: Yes, I don’t do time limits, either.
Brandon: They don’t work for everyone. But don’t say, “It’s not going to happen.” Focus on it happening. Don’t say it’s not going to happen immediately. This is the second question I’ve had about people measuring my expectations and saying, “I can’t get too excited about it. What if it doesn’t happen?” That’s not any fun. That’s not going to help. [laughs]
Christine: You don’t need a time limit. Who cares? Just do it when it happens.
Brandon: Of course it’s not going to happen if you’re saying, “Oh, it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to get my expectations out of control.” You don’t want to do that. It’s not going to do anything good. Just focus on what you want. Let it happen whenever it happens. It will happen relatively soon. Just let it happen. Let it come through. Don’t have that negative expectation. I think that’s the biggest thing blocking you.
Let’s get to Anonymous. “Can you give a step-by-step example of releasing resistance?” Yes. Here’s how it goes, basically. It depends on the type of resistance, but my favorite for releasing resistance is mindfulness. I’m sorry I always talk about mindfulness, but that’s the thing to use. Here’s what I do. I will focus on my goal, feel the good feeling about it, let it come up (I don’t try to hype up the emotion or anything, but I just feel good about it), and I do it in a very gentle, soft way. When resistance comes up either then or later, I say, “Okay, here’s this resistance. I’m going to be mindful of it.” I step out of it. I dissociate and step into the witness consciousness where you’re just aware of the resistance. You’re not identified with it.
Resistance is stuck energy, so you have to let it flow through. You can’t distract yourself from it. You can’t push it away. Both of those things are wrong. You have to let it have its voice. You have to let it express itself. That’s the only thing that’s going to work. Resistance needs to express itself and flow, so let it do its thing. The biggest thing you have to do with resistance is don’t react to it. That’s why mindfulness. Really step back out of the emotions and thoughts, and just let them do their thing.
There’s not really a step-by-step thing because it’s really one step. Once the resistance is gone, you’ll feel relief. You’ll feel a lot better. Then you can go back to focusing on your goal. But don’t go seeking resistance. Don’t try to make it go away. Don’t try to do anything with it. Just let it do its thing. Let it have its time. It will go away. You can update me if you have a question to that, but there’s really no step-by-step. It’s just letting it do its thing, not reacting to it, focusing on your goal despite the resistance, and relaxing. Don’t tense up. Don’t struggle. Don’t try to do anything. Just wu wei, nondoing, letting it do its thing.
I hope that helps. It’s not really a step-by-step thing, like I said. It’s just very simple. We have four more questions to go. Feel free to ask more questions. Another Anonymous: “What is the difference between not letting current reality dictate what is possible versus deluding yourself?” Yes, this is a very good question.
I’m a big proponent of not deluding yourself. I believe in realism, much to Christine’s chagrin sometimes. [laughs] I believe in practicality. Here’s what I don’t believe in. I don’t believe in acting as if. I don’t believe in going around pretending your thing is true.
Christine: Not at all. That won’t work.
Brandon: I don’t believe in pretending you’re a millionaire, pretending you’re in a relationship, setting out the extra space at the table for the other person.
Christine: Oh, my God. It just sounds corny.
Brandon: Making space in the closet. I don’t believe in it. Your subconscious mind, much to the contrary of what everyone says, knows the difference between imaginary and reality. It just does. I don’t believe in acting as if. One of the books I recommend reading is The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz. He talks about structural tension. He says over and over again, “Admit where you are. Know where you are now, but also have a vision for what you want. Know what you want to create.” When an artist is creating, he doesn’t pretend his painting is finished. He says, “Look where I am now. I have a few things painted. A little bit of the painting is done, but I have to do this next. This still needs to be done.” He knows the gap. He’s aware of the gap between where he is and where he wants to be. Because he’s aware of the gap, he knows what to do next. He doesn’t pretend there’s not a gap. There is a gap.
He also doesn’t say, “Oh, you know what? I’m just going to stay here. If the painting’s not done now, it’s never going to get done.” He doesn’t do that, either. He knows where he is. He knows where he wants to be, and that’s the difference. Know where you are. Say, “I’m not a millionaire. I don’t have a lot of money,” or, “I’m not in a relationship,” “I’m not healthy yet, but I want to be there.” Focus on what it feels like to be there twice or so a day. When you are visualizing, then you do act as though you are there, but only in visualization or affirmations or whatever. Not all day long. That’s the difference.
You’re not deluding yourself because all you’re doing is (I don’t want to say “fantasizing”) visualizing and preparing your subconscious mind. The rest of the time, you are being realistic. Hopefully that makes sense to you, but that’s the difference. It’s a really important one because a lot of people do exactly that.
Awesome. Nice questions today. Anonymous asks, “Hey, Brandon, if we do figure out what we’re getting out of not having the goal to point #10, how should we go about resolving and approaching those reasons that are holding us back?” Very nice.
Let’s take my example of being on SSI. I was afraid of what would happen if I wasn’t. So what I did was basically visualize a reality where I was off of SSI. That fear would come up, and I would face that fear. I would say, “You know, there are lots of people who don’t have this safety net. They get by fine. There are lots of coaches out there who are very successful, and they get by fine. The universe will support me.” This has nothing to do with SSI because I’m off of it now, but my mantra or affirmation lately to do with abundance is, “The universe is my source of abundance, not work, not Co-Creation Coaching, nothing else. The universe. Abundance is my state of being.” That’s how it will be.
I faced the fear. I looked at it within myself. Same thing with mindfulness—I let it go. I didn’t let it stay there forever. You just have to face it. If you watch that video from Marisa Pier, you’ll see that the brain will do what’s familiar. The subconscious mind is all about the familiar. If being on SSI or poor is familiar, that’s what it will do. The unfamiliar is scary. What I had to do is familiarize it to making my own money and being off of SSI. So I did that. Then it became safe. If it’s safe, the brain will do it. If it’s not safe, then it won’t do it. Familiarize yourself to what you want. Resolve that fear.
If you’re getting something out of not having the goal, you can also ask yourself, “How else can I get this?” If I want safety, how else can I get that? I can create a safe savings account. I can invest in the stock market and create a safety net. I can just save up money in the bank and manage my bills well and whatnot. Those sorts of things are things you can do, too. How else can you get the thing that you’re looking for by not having your goal? How can you get that while having the goal? That’s the biggest thing you can do.
Next question, [Participant #2] asks, “How do you differentiate between intuition and fear? I have a big manifestation that I feel is very close, and I’m thinking this is it. This is what I’ve been looking for. But then almost immediately feel, ‘Be careful. This could be too good to be true.’ It involves a great deal of money, which could be a trigger for me, but I don’t want to ignore the intuition I’m picking up.” Sorry, it’s hard to read the voice-over. “I don’t want to ignore the intuition I’m picking up to help me.”
Basically, how do you know if it’s intuition or fear? We talked about being scared and having that fear. If something is saying, “What if this doesn’t work out? What if it fails?”, that’s never going to be the universe. That’s never going to be intuition. That’s just never going to be it. When it’s your intuition, it’s going to feel calm, certain, easy, natural, and like hope. When it’s ego, it freaks out and says, “What if? What if? What if?” What about this? What about this? What about this? You don’t want to do that.
If the message that you’re getting feels calm, non-stressful, easy, and peaceful to you and is saying, “You might not want to do this,” then that’s intuition. But if it feels like you’re worried about it or stressed about it, that’s ego. That’s really the biggest thing that you can do to differentiate that. Two more questions. Feel free to ask more questions if you have any more.
[Participant #2] also asks, “Regarding being a match to your goal, how can you do that if you are working on wealth? You can’t just go out and buy what you want if it’s all on credit.”
Christine: Well, no. But the point is the inside. How do you feel inwardly about it? It’s not about taking the action unless it’s inspired action.
Brandon: Sorry, drinking some water. [laughs] Yes, exactly. If you want to achieve wealth, when I increased my income this year, I didn’t do it by buying things. I don’t believe in acting as if. Now I buy things, sure, but it’s within my limits.
Christine: Everything is budgeted. Everything is planned for. We save for it, et cetera.
Brandon: Right. You don’t want to just go and buy things. What I mean by becoming a match is the feeling you have to that goal. You want to become the type of person inside who can have the goal. Ask yourself, “Could I naturally have the wealth that I want?” That goes with feeling ordinary. If it feels ordinary, it means that you’ve transformed yourself into the type of person who can have that goal. A million dollars to a non-millionaire feels extraordinary. To a millionaire or a billionaire, a million dollars feels like every day. That’s how you know when you’re in alignment with the goal: when it stops feeling extraordinary or huge.
That’s why one of my biggest pieces of advice is: Make it not so big. Make it not such a big deal. Make it feel smaller to you. Don’t make it life or death, like I said in #1. You really want to not go out and spend stuff. Just focus on the feeling. Focus on, “Am I the type of person who could have this goal easily? Could I easily accept this goal into my life?” If you’re not, it’s going to feel stressful. It’s going to feel difficult.
The last question I have. I want to remind everyone, last chance here, that if you haven’t already, go ahead and sign up for a free strategy session. I’m happy to answer the rest of your questions about the law of attraction. Again, it has to be within the next week. I have a pretty open calendar, so go ahead and do that. It’s cocreationcoaching.org/strategy I just want to put that out one more time before I answer the last question.
Okay, last question from Anonymous says—it just says, “Thank you.” Okay. You’re welcome. [laughs] Last call for questions. I believe that’s all that I have, but I will give you one more second. Let me check Facebook as well. I don’t know if anyone is watching on Facebook, but we’ll see. Nothing on Facebook. Last call for questions on here. No questions. I really hope this helped.
Christine: This was a lot of fun.
Brandon: This was awesome. I said I’d keep an eye on questions until I end, just in case. Sorry this went so far over, but there were lots of questions, which I love.
Christine: Questions are amazing.
Brandon: Questions are awesome. I really hope this helped. The big thing is don’t make it such a big deal. Really, just relax about it. Wu wei is my favorite phrase here, nondoing. Relax about the whole thing. Don’t stress. Just let it be an ordinary part of life. Be happy now, and you will get there. That’s the biggest piece of advice I have here. It will be easy. You have to make it easy for yourself. I really enjoyed doing this for everyone.
Oh, we have one more from [Participant #1]. “Thanks.” No problem. It was awesome doing this. I am doing another one next year—no, next month. Sorry, my brain scrambled. I’m going to try to do one every month if I can. Next month’s will be about how to make affirmations work for you.
Christine: Awesome. That will be fun.
Brandon: “Thank you. That was an awesome webinar,” from [Participant #2]. No problem. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. Thanks, everyone, again. I really appreciate everyone who came and spent this hour and a half with us. It was really enjoyable. We’ll see you guys around. If you have any questions, you can sign up for that session. You have my email address if you have any questions about what we discussed here. Otherwise, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Bye, everyone.
Brandon: Anything is possible.
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